Watching the news is depressing lately...all they seem to be covering is the rising food prices. Although, no one seems to explain adequately why this is happening....other than it is just a progression of events. One article I read suggested that corn was a root of the problem. Corn is a huge staple in lots of food products, but with the increase demand in biofuel that the supply of said corn is being spread too thin.... so basically a good thing (increase in biofuel) is leading to higher food prices which is a bad thing.
The problem is that I am not sure if the ratio of good things to bad things is worth it some of the time. Here is some good things/bad things in my own life.
Bad thing: brakes going out
Good thing: my work supplies a bus pass and I have been taking the bus to most places
Good thing: parents save money on gas (as they pay for gas)
Good thing: I've been walking more, which makes me healthier
Bad thing: more movement means higher metabolism, means I am hungry more and eating more
Bad thing: food prices are higher so I have to spend more for food...and buy more food than I normally would
Good thing: collecting part time jobs to make ends meet, means I am earning more....
Bad thing: earning more doesn't mean much when it gets spent on food anyway
Well at the moment my good things/bad things ratio is 1:1 which = Debbie is annoyed.
:) + :( = :$
And really the thing that is most annoying is that I'm starving at the moment and need to go to Costco today. Which is a bunch of bad things: being hungry, spending money, and having to use the suspect car.
Dammit. Can't win for losing, I guess.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Dating My Brother?
So every woman should probably have a gay male friend....or in my case, I've got my brother. Regardless of the fact that I have known him for all of his life...he still manages to know me pretty well. Yesterday he was going on a junk food trip to the grocery store and while there he bought me some flowers.
First of all, receiving flowers of any kind from anyone is a wonderful thing. I don't care if they are store bought or come from someone's garden....I love them all and will take them.
Second, in the whole time that Mr.3 and I were together I never received flowers from him. In fact there were only two sentimental gifts from him that I really remember. An iPod Nano, which I really wanted but he had sold back some of my (and his) textbooks to get the money...and he had bought himself a bunch of other stuff along with it. (I was really angry at how he did that--I was out of town at a funeral and he sold books of mine without my permission.) He also bought me a stuffed horse. Which was nice, but I am still not sure where he got the idea that I would like it. I only liked it because he gave it to me.
And third, my brother knows me so well...that he even bought me the type of flowers that I like, daisies. You could melt my heart quicker with a single daisy than all of the roses in the world.
In a strange way, I feel like I am dating my brother.... I know, I'm an incest whore (hee hee inside joke). Maybe I should enjoin my brother to give a swift training course to whoever I date in the future.
Also, it just reminds me that your family will alway love you and know exactly what to do to make you smile.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Eager eagerness-ness-ness
Yesterday Shirin Ebadi was speaking at the University. Although I didn't find the venue the best (the Union ballroom) it was an interesting lecture. Unlike other lecturers that I have seen, she simply stated what she wanted to say rather than developing some complex and convoluted semantic loop. In any case, at the lecture, Libby and I sat ourselves down by two of the MEC grad students we (or rather I) am friends with. Now, one of them-Hilary- I wouldn't classify myself as "friends" with but 'friendly with'---I hope that that distinction makes sense.
Anyway.
Hilary asked me how Mr.3 was doing as she hadn't seen him in a long time. I was sure that she already knew what had happened in one sense or the other. (The MEC is its own Mecca for gossip as it were.) So, as she asked I simply told her that Mr.3 was never going to come back...and then I gave her the quick reader's digest version. One word can describe her reaction:
Eager.
Eager eager, over eager, eager beaver.....and any other combination or phrase to deal with that word... that was her reaction. I must say that it was kinda funny to watch her face as she was trying to reconcile her feelings between being extremely happy that she could openly bash Mr.3 in front of me (there was a mutual hatred between them) and trying to remember that she had to be human, nice, and sympathetic towards me. Well the Mr.3 bashing won out on that struggle and she proceeded to tell me that she had caught him in several lies from within the first couple of weeks of knowing him....and that so-and-so had been told this by Mr.3 and that was a lie as well.....and that she knew that there was something up with him the whole time.......and on and on and on.....
Oh she reveled in the self-righteousness. I hope it made her feel better....because while I know better than anyone about Mr.3's habitual and pervasive lying....I also know that he was a hell of a lot more intelligent than Hilary could ever hope to be.
Because deep down.... she didn't/doesn't care that Mr.3 hurt people that she knows. She only cares that he turned out bad so that she could make herself better than him in one thing- morally.
I'm not hurt by her actions....amused yes, but not hurt. Although I think that now she wants to have lunch with me or something "so that we can talk". Which translates into: she wants an opportunity to sit and trash Mr.3 without guilt. Not interested. I don't even trash him in psychotherapy....why would I do it over lunch with a practical stranger?
Anyway.
Hilary asked me how Mr.3 was doing as she hadn't seen him in a long time. I was sure that she already knew what had happened in one sense or the other. (The MEC is its own Mecca for gossip as it were.) So, as she asked I simply told her that Mr.3 was never going to come back...and then I gave her the quick reader's digest version. One word can describe her reaction:
Eager.
Eager eager, over eager, eager beaver.....and any other combination or phrase to deal with that word... that was her reaction. I must say that it was kinda funny to watch her face as she was trying to reconcile her feelings between being extremely happy that she could openly bash Mr.3 in front of me (there was a mutual hatred between them) and trying to remember that she had to be human, nice, and sympathetic towards me. Well the Mr.3 bashing won out on that struggle and she proceeded to tell me that she had caught him in several lies from within the first couple of weeks of knowing him....and that so-and-so had been told this by Mr.3 and that was a lie as well.....and that she knew that there was something up with him the whole time.......and on and on and on.....
Oh she reveled in the self-righteousness. I hope it made her feel better....because while I know better than anyone about Mr.3's habitual and pervasive lying....I also know that he was a hell of a lot more intelligent than Hilary could ever hope to be.
Because deep down.... she didn't/doesn't care that Mr.3 hurt people that she knows. She only cares that he turned out bad so that she could make herself better than him in one thing- morally.
I'm not hurt by her actions....amused yes, but not hurt. Although I think that now she wants to have lunch with me or something "so that we can talk". Which translates into: she wants an opportunity to sit and trash Mr.3 without guilt. Not interested. I don't even trash him in psychotherapy....why would I do it over lunch with a practical stranger?
Monday, April 14, 2008
Well, we can't all be Grace Jones
Last night Jimmy was flipping through the channels and came across the movie Conan the Destroyer. In asking who the scary black lady was I explained that it was Grace Jones....which turned into a crash course in Grace Jones history. We found this amazingly cool photo of her.
Of course, Jimmy and I had to try our hands at this pose.....which is incredibly hard to do. Here is my attempt.
Yes, I know that the angle is all wrong and that you can see my underwear. Grace Jones is actually pantless in her photo, so you should consider me as doing you a favor in that regard. My leg was up higher....but Jimmy was really slow on the taking the picture and I fell over after the flash. I was faster on the shutter than Jimmy so his photo looks better. Or at least that is the story I am sticking with.
Of course, Jimmy and I had to try our hands at this pose.....which is incredibly hard to do. Here is my attempt.
Yes, I know that the angle is all wrong and that you can see my underwear. Grace Jones is actually pantless in her photo, so you should consider me as doing you a favor in that regard. My leg was up higher....but Jimmy was really slow on the taking the picture and I fell over after the flash. I was faster on the shutter than Jimmy so his photo looks better. Or at least that is the story I am sticking with.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
That Mid-April Time
We grilled hamburgers for dinner tonight. It is funny to think that this time last year I was searching for new grilling tools for Mr.3 because he was sure that he would be home at any moment. There's alot of those little nostalgic items I find. I was proud that I remembered how to turn the grill on....and even though there was a large fireball that erupted when I lit the grill....my eyebrows are still intact. In fact, no singeing whatsoever. Jimmy and I have made it our goal for this year to turn into excellent grilling chefs. We haven't screwed up hamburgers yet...so we have a good start, not to mention that we also got to eat outside in the front yard....equally good.
Back to nostalgia... I was washing dishes this evening, trying to reflect on how I felt at this time last year. I can't remember how I felt, but I know that I was struggling in my classes and on the verge of failing. Back then I was surviving off of one job and a crapload of student loans. Now I am paying my students loans off and working three jobs (will mention the latest one later). I can't remember if I felt this deadtired then as I do now (I only have one day off this week) but I feel in general that I am much better off than before. Maybe I feel better now than before because I let myself wallow in my emotions.... now I just keep myself too busy to wallow. In fact it is sorta funny when I say a "day off" because I work everyday, just on the weekends it is less and I have more free time.
It is strange how I still miss telling Mr.3 things. I will hear a bit of news about someone we know and want to tell him....just because he used to be interested. Or at least pretended very well that he was. I don't know if it will mean anything to him anymore that Wendy finally got that job, Dr. Weiss is really going to retire...I heard from Breanne..... or that I got to interview some really great speakers that I know he would have died to be able to get some one-on-one time. Even when he was gone for so long, I did really keep him in the loop with the news....it has only been 4 months since that process stopped. I'm still not used to it.
As to the third job that I alluded to earlier. I know that I mentioned ages ago about an editor gig that I had with Global Voices. Well, that still hasn't gotten off the ground, but the Daily Digest editor needed a break and decided to give that position up so that all of his attentions could be focused on Outreach for GV. I start tomorrow writing the summaries of the daily on-goings on the GV site. I hope to be able to keep my same schedule with the MEC and Blue Coat....but if it proves to be too much I might have to lessen some of my Blue Coat hours. I read on Twitter that a benefit of being self-employed is that you can choose your own 70-hour a week work schedule. I may not be self-employed, but I do get to choose my own 70-hour a week schedule. I keep reminding myself that I work this hard now so that things will be better in the future. I just have to remember to keep telling myself that. Remember, remember.....for one day you will be able to have a vacation and lounge about somewhere with a new computer...that has a battery that works....and a power plug that works correctly....and you can drive to that vacation in your car that have brakes that don't make scary sounds.
Thanks heavens for a bus pass and my trusty but senile laptop....we'll make it through this.
Back to nostalgia... I was washing dishes this evening, trying to reflect on how I felt at this time last year. I can't remember how I felt, but I know that I was struggling in my classes and on the verge of failing. Back then I was surviving off of one job and a crapload of student loans. Now I am paying my students loans off and working three jobs (will mention the latest one later). I can't remember if I felt this deadtired then as I do now (I only have one day off this week) but I feel in general that I am much better off than before. Maybe I feel better now than before because I let myself wallow in my emotions.... now I just keep myself too busy to wallow. In fact it is sorta funny when I say a "day off" because I work everyday, just on the weekends it is less and I have more free time.
It is strange how I still miss telling Mr.3 things. I will hear a bit of news about someone we know and want to tell him....just because he used to be interested. Or at least pretended very well that he was. I don't know if it will mean anything to him anymore that Wendy finally got that job, Dr. Weiss is really going to retire...I heard from Breanne..... or that I got to interview some really great speakers that I know he would have died to be able to get some one-on-one time. Even when he was gone for so long, I did really keep him in the loop with the news....it has only been 4 months since that process stopped. I'm still not used to it.
As to the third job that I alluded to earlier. I know that I mentioned ages ago about an editor gig that I had with Global Voices. Well, that still hasn't gotten off the ground, but the Daily Digest editor needed a break and decided to give that position up so that all of his attentions could be focused on Outreach for GV. I start tomorrow writing the summaries of the daily on-goings on the GV site. I hope to be able to keep my same schedule with the MEC and Blue Coat....but if it proves to be too much I might have to lessen some of my Blue Coat hours. I read on Twitter that a benefit of being self-employed is that you can choose your own 70-hour a week work schedule. I may not be self-employed, but I do get to choose my own 70-hour a week schedule. I keep reminding myself that I work this hard now so that things will be better in the future. I just have to remember to keep telling myself that. Remember, remember.....for one day you will be able to have a vacation and lounge about somewhere with a new computer...that has a battery that works....and a power plug that works correctly....and you can drive to that vacation in your car that have brakes that don't make scary sounds.
Thanks heavens for a bus pass and my trusty but senile laptop....we'll make it through this.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Sunday Stuff
Jimmy finally got his iTouch this weekend. Unfortunately, in order for it to work I had to download the XP security suite pack 2. I have been avoiding adding it for years. I did it once and removed it, and now I remember why.... because it has turned my computer into a total dousch. It keeps trying to connect to other 'secured' networks in the area, rather than my network which is unsecured. Even though it says that my screensaver is all set and ready to go, it lies. And who knows that happened to my desktop background....
I really don't have time to deal with a computer that keeps wanting to make some sort of value judgment about my computer preferences.
Plus, the security pack took up a bunch of space and we had to delete some programs for hard-drive space. I really just need to buckle down and get an external hard drive as the music and photos between Jimmy and I are taking up all the space. I remember when I first got this computer and the idea of filling up 30 gigs was an unreality.....now I have only 1 gig free space and we have already cut down on alot of what we had saved on it.
At the moment I have the house to myself. Jimmy is out with some friends. I've finished my four hours at job 3...and now I need to figure out what to do with my time. I need to work on dishes, if only for the fact that we are now out of both the large and small forks. And I need to clean. This place is still overloaded with furniture and boxes from Jimmy's IKEA bedroom transformation.
I've been working on reading my science books. Currently reading one on quantum entanglement. I'm having a hard time getting through it, but it is interesting. This morning I decided to take a break from it and read The Bell Jar. I read it in a couple of hours, and honestly I don't see why it is that important of a book....then again, I didn't think too much of Catcher in the Rye either. Maybe it is the difference between reading a book for fun versus reading a book with the aim of discussing and dissecting it?
Even though I haven't gotten much sleep this weekend (I took Jimmy to work at 6:30am this morning), today has been quite relaxing. Which is needed....who knows what will happen at work tomorrow. The "fun" at the MEC has hit the press....which complicates matters even more. I hope this mess gets resolved soon...and in a manner that will enable to keep ahold of my job. I'm gonna link here to the news articles from the Daily Chronicle (the University's paper) and the Salt Lake Tribune. The comments that are stemming from these are most interesting....especially when you look at who are the ones commenting. In many ways I am glad this is more public, it lessens the stress on staff with everyone under the sun trying to figure out what is going on....now we can just say, read the article because that is about all we know. Although I really pity the PR department at the U.
U. Mideast Center in Turmoil
Letter: Newman Should Resign
I really don't have time to deal with a computer that keeps wanting to make some sort of value judgment about my computer preferences.
Plus, the security pack took up a bunch of space and we had to delete some programs for hard-drive space. I really just need to buckle down and get an external hard drive as the music and photos between Jimmy and I are taking up all the space. I remember when I first got this computer and the idea of filling up 30 gigs was an unreality.....now I have only 1 gig free space and we have already cut down on alot of what we had saved on it.
At the moment I have the house to myself. Jimmy is out with some friends. I've finished my four hours at job 3...and now I need to figure out what to do with my time. I need to work on dishes, if only for the fact that we are now out of both the large and small forks. And I need to clean. This place is still overloaded with furniture and boxes from Jimmy's IKEA bedroom transformation.
I've been working on reading my science books. Currently reading one on quantum entanglement. I'm having a hard time getting through it, but it is interesting. This morning I decided to take a break from it and read The Bell Jar. I read it in a couple of hours, and honestly I don't see why it is that important of a book....then again, I didn't think too much of Catcher in the Rye either. Maybe it is the difference between reading a book for fun versus reading a book with the aim of discussing and dissecting it?
Even though I haven't gotten much sleep this weekend (I took Jimmy to work at 6:30am this morning), today has been quite relaxing. Which is needed....who knows what will happen at work tomorrow. The "fun" at the MEC has hit the press....which complicates matters even more. I hope this mess gets resolved soon...and in a manner that will enable to keep ahold of my job. I'm gonna link here to the news articles from the Daily Chronicle (the University's paper) and the Salt Lake Tribune. The comments that are stemming from these are most interesting....especially when you look at who are the ones commenting. In many ways I am glad this is more public, it lessens the stress on staff with everyone under the sun trying to figure out what is going on....now we can just say, read the article because that is about all we know. Although I really pity the PR department at the U.
Karawan resigns over Middle East Center dismissals
Dean quiet about Karawan's resignationU. Mideast Center in Turmoil
Letter: Newman Should Resign
Clarification: Dean Ott independent from Mid East Center shakeup
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