More for my benefit than yours

The very last vestiages of this school semester is sitting in a tattered document on my desktop only waiting to be repaired with all of the random bits of information in my head.

I was supposed to work on a take-home test and a paper while I was gone in California. It didn't happen- - no surprise really. I had the best of intentions of working on it yesterday but I crashed because of the drive; recovering from the dehydration and stress of the past week. I think that Mr.3 is getting sick....which means that the Genghis and Aziz uprising of my GI tract might have been in fact a bit more contagious than it should have been....stupid re-occuring ameboic dysintery (ouch the spell checker gods but be angry with that one).

I managed to finish the take-home test and am now working on the paper....it isn't going well. I started to work on my Kurdistance article....which will probably be along the same lines of my paper but I have hit a road block so I spent the past hour listening to songs on my Ipod Nano that Mr.3 gave me and reading old entries of poetry and diary-type items that I have written. At 26 my head is a lot clearer than it was at 23. I am more rational now but I am afraid that my writing lacks the lyrical quality that it once had.

There is alot to say about the passing of my Uncle and I am not sure that I know where to start with everything. I have discovered (well I suspected) that my Uncle was a very different man than I had imagined....not that that is bad, it is only that I found out that he was even more secretive about his life than what we thought. Part of me wants to write about him, all that we learned, that we are learning now....I want to piece my Uncle together from the artifacts that he left behind. But is that a fitting tribute? He lived to keep everything to himself, should he be lead to rest in the same fashion?

Either way, all of this still leads to the same conclusion....that I have a paper waiting to be finished. I think that I am going to change locations of my computer (from the dining room table to the TV tray by the couch)...something has gotta give. I have so much to finish and I want to have it all done at a time that still enables me to sleep tonight.

Tying up loose ends

Well just to let people know what is going on....and at this point I am not sure what I have and have not told anyone.

My uncle Don died this morning at 1:08am. He arrived from Seattle last Wednesday to my Grandfather's in California. He was home for a day and a half before they hospitalized him for possible liver failure. As of this weekend they were trying to stabilize his liver so that he might be able to undergo chemo, but there was still a possibility. As of Sunday, it became apparent that he would not become healthy enough for chemo---the timeline was weeks. As of Monday, everything began to shut down....after he spoke with a priest we sorta went to sleep...but at this time we still thought that he would last a few more days. At about midnight the nurse called my Grandfather and said that his breathing had becomed labored and that it would be hours. They got there, they held his hand, and then...his breathing....just....stopped.

Grandpa called my mom this morning. And as I was raving this morning about my partner for my testing project walking into work, my mom called me. We are stuck in an odd spot. This has happened so fast. Just last week we were annoyed with my Uncle for not coming to stay with us to get treatment. He knew then. And he kept it from us. He lived and died only on his terms.

Tomorrow my mom and I drive down to California. My Dad, my brother and my beloved Mr. 3 are unable to change their schedules to come down. I asked for a week off, but I hope to be back before then. The thought of seeing family again under such horrible circumstances is awful. But I think that being gone from Mr. 3 will probably rip my heart out.

I will try to post during this time. I have already looked up the free wireless locations down by where my Grandpa lives (he has dial-up and I am afraid that I have become spoiled---plus for the amount of research that I have left to do for my paper-dial-up would kill me). So now, dear readers, you know what's going on with me.

An Update

My uncle was hospitalized last week and we have learned that he is in the late stages of cancer of the esopagus and that it has spread to his liver and possibly the stomach and pancreas. Mr.3 and I offered to have him come and live with us: we are a five minute drive to the Huntsman Cancer Institute, we have room, we have the energy, and most importantly we have the time. But my uncle is a stubborn and selfish man. He only wants to go down and move in with my grandfather...who is 86 years old and struggling with cancer himself. Somehow my uncle believes that everything will be hunky dory and that all of the ancient aunts and uncle that live in California will be able to take care of a 55 year old man dying of cancer and undergoing chemo. The worst part is that my grandparents are going to let him. I understand why they are doing this, and I can understand them thinking that they will be physically and mentally able to handle this situation. But my mom, my aunt Kathy and Mr.3 think that they don't seem to realize how difficult it will really be.

I think that the most disappointing part of this whole situation is that my uncle, a grown man of the ripe age of 55, is still operating under the delusion that his parents can take care of him. There is a point where the parent is no longer able to take care of themselves and the younger generations must become the caretakers. We are worried that instead of one funeral, that it will be three. It is also insulting the way my uncle has been acting towards my mom, his only sister. He kepts referring to her as not part of the family...like there is only grandpa and him in this world.....this coming from the man who has ignored his family for years and lives like a hermit, only coming to the family when he needs something. Mr.3 and I are willing to give up a hell of alot for him----Mr.3 hasn't even met the man----and we are willing to give him the 24/7 care that he needs and he won't even consider our offer.

This is eating my mom alive and I hate to watch this happening....no one deserves to be treated like this by their family.

Target is not meant for people who actually hand wash their dishes.

Today Mr.3 and I ventured forth to Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond to use some of the wedding gift cards that we have been given. Unfortuately, as things have been tight financially, we had to use the Target cards for needed items instead of fun stuff...things like shampoo, deoderant...that kind of thing. Normally these are items that we would get from Kmart (I refuse to go to Walmart-one for family loyalty and two I find the store and a lot of the people I see shop there as scruzy). I came to the conclusion that Target really is a department store for those who have more money than they probably need. Everything is designed for impulse buys. Cookies, knickknacks, etc all marked down to a dollar something...you walk past it, go "hey what a good price!" and throw it into the cart....conveniently forgetting that the astringent you are buying costs the same at Target as twice as much does at Kmart. I don't impulse buy at Kmart, Mr.3 says that's because I grew up in the store, but after today I think that Kmart is really focused on selling people stuff that they need (that isn't really glamorous) at a decent price. We needed dishsoap...now when we go to Kmart they have a huge section of their aisle with different brands and different varieties for you to choose from, they have about the same size of display for dishwasher soap....Target on the other hand has three brands to choose from and no varieties (I currently have been using the Palmolive with Bleach--and there was none of that it sight.) They had a HUGE section of dishwasher soap---apparently regular Target shoppers don't handwash their dishes....but they have plenty of stuff to make it look like you do regular housework. For instance they have a huge selection of fancy-smancy mops that look really neat, but I doubt that they would hold up to the amount of cleaning that I have to regularly do....and trying to find sponges to clean something was near impossible....I guess that people now clean everything with some sort of a wand-stick thing instead. Don't get me wrong, Target is nice, and they do have some really good deals. We got an excellent tall floor lamp for $8, and we bought a coffee maker for the office this morning for $10...but they aren't high quality by any means...something that you can easily throw away. Today I fully understood why Target is getting the nickname: the rich man's Walmart.
At Bed, Bath and Beyond we got some more functional than fun items, but at least these were items that we didn't desperately need to survive....a couple of laundry hampers, shoe polisher stuff for Mr.3 and a shoerack for his shoes that are taking over the bedroom, and a coffee grinder for the bag of coffee beans we bought ages ago but never bothered to get ground.

Let's see...other than that...Mr.3 has been sick since Friday with something that I had the previous Wednesday...it seems to be hitting him harder than it hit me...and I can tell you, it's bad. So he is napping at the moment, and I am blogging instead of the homework that I badly need to focus on.

My latest Global Voices posting...

For this week's article I compared what the Kurdish bloggers and the Turkish bloggers were saying about the recent violence in the Southeast of Turkey. I am slightly paniked that people will hate me for what I need, but then again, I felt that it was needed comparsion. Please read the article (I warn you, it is long) and let me know if you think that I was balanced in my coverage. So far the feedback has been positive--at least from those at Global Voices.

Good vs. Evil

Ok so Rob is less evil than me.

New Flickr Account

So I started a Flickr account to collect photos for the eventual wedding site that I am going to create. Feel free to view, the link is on the sidebar. If you happen to have any photos of the ceremony, could you send them to me at deborah.ann.dilley@gmail.com Thanks!

My Kurdistance Article for this week...

Normally I don't link a post to my work on Global Voices, but I am particularly proud of the piece that I wrote today, please give it a look.

Why my testing teacher is lucky to be alive

During the break in testing class my teacher went up to my partner and notified him that he felt that our test project was "too simple" and that we need to do something else. Let's go through a bit of this shall we....2 weeks ago we presented the design of our project...the amount of time and blood that we put into it was immense....our presentation was polished and one of the best in the class....and because we were so polished he somehow decided that it must have been easy to do the project. UGH! My partner, was so worried when he told me, he was trying to think of new ideas, but I took on our professor after class. I think that he was surprised. I normally don't talk in class (mainly because it melts my brain- but also because the people who do talk ask the stupidest questions and suck all intelligence out of the room) so when I testily (I hate that word but it is the only one that fits) took him on using all of his logic to prove why our project was still valid and that he was making unfounded value judgements based on his ignorant notions of the amount of work he thought we put into it. Either way we won out, but we also gave him the added incentive of incorporating some of his new research ideas into our project to give him a trial shot for extra research....he liked that as well. My partner was relieved that I handled it. Mr.3 said that I have a redhead streak in me, that apparently is unpredictable....I am not sure that this is a good or bad thing.

Fantastic First Day on the Job!

Today was my first day at Outreach and it was bloody brillant! Let's see, my first task was to research jokes in the Middle East and do a write up about them for our newsletter due this week. I answered the main line but by not being in the main office anymore I didn't have to deal with the influx of traffic of people....I was able to concentrate for once at work. I was also having so much fun that I didn't even have time to do my usual goofing off on the internet. And....perhaps one of the coolest things, is that I have gone from 40 hours a week to 30! The important part of this is that I left at 3 today instead of 5 and is soooo felt like I was playing hookie from work. Mr.3 and I even went to work out and were still home by 4:30! I feel great! Tomorrow I work until only 2:30pm, and since my class starts at 3:30 this means that I can work on school stuff before class again. I haven't been able to do that since my two part time job days!

Last week blogging was scarce as it was spring break but I was also busting my butt to get stuff at one job finished before starting the next one. Now not everything is done, but what remains are all small items that I can take my time doing. We were still sifting through applications for my old job today. I figure that it will be a mircle if they can begin to interview this week, so next week for interviews..then another week for second interviews. Then I can easily see another 2 weeks before anyone can actually start....which means that the first week of this new person is going to be the end of the semester and they will have to deal with teachers not doing their grades....hopefully I can get Fall textbook information from the teachers before then. Part of me is annoyed with myself for saying that I would cover both jobs until a replacement is found, but the other (and larger part of me) is incredibly annoyed that the higher ups in my department decided that that was a fair option. It isn't like I am getting paid anymore, or getting extra hours. And the job change isn't a new thing...we knew that Carolyn gave 2 months notice, and I gave a months notice (plus an offer to help train). The situation is really frustrating but the pressure does seem to be less now that I am across the hall.

Back to the new job....it is sooo much fun! Friday (as Carolyn left an extra day early) we moved a new bookshelf into the office so that this morning I was completely moved in and ready to start working. I have this excellent bookshelf with a wonderful collection of books on the middle east, any and all aspects of it. I could get lost in its pages. Tomorrow I have to work on researching holidays for our October workshop (yes, we work that far in advance), and I only have to cover the calls on the main line from 8-11 in the morning! I'm so excited!

And the Reality of Living in Mormonland Comes Crashing in on me

This afternoon Mr.3 and I were having a late lunch/early dinner with my parents at Chuck-a-rama this afternoon. I was cooing over this adorable little girl in a green Easter dress right up until she went up to her mom...who I haven't seen since Middle School. Living here for as long as I have it isn't unusual to come across people you knew from your past...however it still is a shock when you see someone from school have four kids and to be pregnant with a fifth by the age of 26. This is normal for Mormon Utah, this girl, April I believe her name is to be, did what just about 90% of the other girls I went to school with did....got married at 19 and just started to pop out kiddies every year or so....stairstepped children of the corn. I don't want to say that I regret not having children....I will have children, but when I am ready for them...when WE are ready for them. I pity her because I worry that in her eagerness to perform her religious duty for producing more and more children, that she never got a chance to really live. Did she ever get a chance to find herself before she became saddled with diapers? Is she seeming to fall into the same trap of so many young and fundamentally unhappy Mormon brides, procreating in order to forget?

just another thing that I don't need...

a widget on my work computer that let's me blog easier...oh dear.

Week of the never-ending late school nights

We all have had nights where we are up late doing school stuff, but this week (everyday this week) I have actually been on campus until at least 9pm only to turn around and be back on campus at 7:30am. Tonight is another late night because of class but at least I should be home somewhere around 7. I can't wait until this week is over...or well...all of my presentations are over. Testing class went smashingly well, and in a bold ego-centric move, I would say that ours was the best in the class. Then again, we also were the last group and had the benefit of seeing what happened with the groups prior to us in class. Either way my partner and I easily spent 20 hours in preparation for this together, and then more time on top of that was spent working on our own.

And there was something else that I was going to write about...but I forgot. It looks like today is going to be one of those days.

threatening comments

So yesterday I received several comments on this blog that were either freaky whacked out or just plain threatening....my question is, what really is the motivation? As this blog is my expression it should be noted that I will make complete fun of these people if I so choose. I also take full responsibility for anything that I write here. Comment if you wish but please give me a name if you are going to call me one so that I can adequately curse you.

The bug eating bugs and other fun stories...

My dispondent mood was calmed today by lots of bits of gossip about the bug. We held a lunch for the graduate students today to get them more involved in our discussion groups on campus...and of course in these situations the only way to gather students is to bribe them with food. Anyway, setting this up because an team-office undertaking. I would have had to do all of it but my ploy of "I only sit at the desk I don't know anything else" actually worked. I coordinated everyone's schedule, took RSVPs and let the professors know where they needed to go to reserve the room. Teri, Shari and Carolyn (who I keep calling Carrie today) researched into food and ordered everything last minute for the luncheon as no one had told them that they needed to be working on this. June sent out the invite email. So the lunch starts and Shari goes up to the lounge with the PO to make sure that the pizza gets paid for. The bug grabs the PO from her, tell Shari that this is HER show, and that she should leave. Shari left, but not before the bug had time to chew her out about filling out the PO wrong (which was filled out by Teri our AA). Shari came down and told us what had happened which lead to some interesting conversations, but our annoyance at the bug's behavior was quite tangible. About 40 minutes into the presentation I went up to help "clean up"---otherwise known as morbid curiousity and hunger pains. The meeting wasn't quite over when I got up there so I just stood next to "I". Shari's name was mentioned several times, and it really should have been an event that she should have been present for. "I" asked me why she wasn't there. I told him that Shari was told by the bug that she shouldn't be there. He thought for a second and then (rather loudly) went "What!? She did what!?" I think that "I" was in a bit of shock...and he had the giggles as well every time he looked at her. So we have that today....

Then she basically got caught in a lie with Teri our AA. This morning the bug told Teri that she had given the letters for graduate school acceptance to our graduate faculty advisor on Friday to sign. However, I heard her tell the graduate faculty advisor that she just now has the first batch of letters ready for him to sign. Teri was not happy when she found out about that, and she has it now as a mission to "re-educate" the bug in her job. The bug has been in the position for a year, and everyone under the sun has given her a lot of leeway because of it....who knows why....I didn't get any and either has Teri...so that has got to stop. And the fact that she has so many student complaints that "I" and PVS refuse to deal with her on. Mr.3 is thinking about writing a letter about the letter situation to the Assistant Dean on Undergraduate Affairs, something that I support. The part of me that works here and loves the people I work with feels a little bad, but the part of me that is the student who got screwed over by the department wants hell to be raised.

Interesting story from the bug today....besides the fact she saw the movie a beautiful mind and saw a lot of parallels between the main character and her whelp of a husband....she told me that this weekend she had taken a handful of almonds to eat with her beer the other night. After eating them for a while she happened to look down at them and discovered that the almonds where riddled with bugs. Either this was an illusion of her alcohol-ravaged mind or something that really happened...I find it damn funny that the bug made herself sick this weekend eating bugs.

Touchy

the nice way to describe the way that I have been feeling today and the past few days is "touchy" the more accurate description would be "that I am so angry and depressed at the world that I am making myself physically ill". Why am I angry....well I am angry at somethings that I can't control and many things that I could fix but shouldn't have to...topically we are running the whole gambit of issues: school, money, the phone ringing, my stomach, sickness in general, work, dishes, just about anything. And I swear to God that if I have to hear about what the bug did or did not do...... and well I was going to say that if I even had to talk to her today I was going to scream....too late...because of course as I am writing this she comes in and talks about her miserable failed life that she continually claims to be the victim of. If anyone is the real victim it is the people that she complains to becuase that is valuable breathing time that I can never get back again. Has she finished the graduate letters? Probably not....but of course how can she function with all of the alcohol that floats in her bloodstream?

AAARRHGGG!!! I just want to throw or punch something!

found this about soccer

and i found it damn funny, maybe you will too.

Bathroom Bag

I've done it. I have finally put together a bathroom bag for myself, complete with citricell, imodium ad, soft toilet paper, the adult fresh wipes, a reading book and a journal. I feel a little silly, but I am glad that I did it. After yesterday I thought my bum was going to fall off.

Speaking of bums....er...bugs rather. I figured out why she has been coming in earlier lately. Kate used to get here at 8:30 and the bug would make sure that she got in just before her. Now that Teri is here at 7am, she can't find an excuse to be in here later. In fact Teri has mentioned that the bug seems to find reasons to call her at 7 in the morning just to see if she is in. She used to do that to me, and she did it to Linda as well.

I have three weeks in this position before I move over to Outreach. Yesterday I made a master list of everything that I need to complete before I leave....it isn't any longer than my normal weekly list...that is kinda sad in a way.

Terrorist attacks, military rule addressed at U - News

Here is the link to the Model Arab League article about this weekend's fiasco. It is a fairly decent article, although Jack's quote annoys me.
Terrorist attacks, military rule addressed at U - News

A warning...

To those that seem to think that excessive tanning makes you look thinner, it doesn't work when you still insist on wearing clothing that is two sizes too small.

GI Fun!

Due to the wonders (please sense the irony here) of the medication I am on, I have to regularly monitor the whole GI tract thing. Since being on the meds, most days, I have to visit the bathroom a half hour to an hour after I eat. However I have had the odd day when that doesn't happen, and while not having to go to the bathroom after every meal is nice the resulting pain in the middle of the night with stomach cramps that bring me to tears is not nice. So in order to prevent the midnight horrors of my GI tract I had to finally buckle down and buy a container of Citricell. I never thought that I would have to stand in the grocery store and honestly think about what type of fiber product to buy... I feel...just kinda sad as this seems to be my new reality.

After dinner Mr.3 and I went to the bookstore and of course I had to run to the bathroom. With the new GI regime that I am now subject too, once you get to the bathroom you just kinda wait for everything to fall out of you. After a while I have a tendancy to get pretty bored. I took the opportunity to clean out my purse, but I think that I need to put some small reading book or journal in there to at least give me something to do while my bottom is doing its stuff. Maybe I will just start carrying around crosswords.

Mostly for Rob...

I found a short article about the slang usage and word history of the term "turkish delight".

Oh, and for the Winston-guy who commented about my articles on Global Voices. Get over it. I am not advocating anything, merely reporting on what others are saying....but perhaps you might understand that distinction better if you improved your grasp of the English language.

It's been a David Niven week.

This is David Niven if you have never heard of him.


On Tuesday and Wednesday night, David Niven was in my dreams...in one of them the bug was fired and he became her replacement. As he was becoming a reoccuring theme, on Wednesday morning I went online to find pictures of him and well now Shari, Linda and I all have pictures of him in our offices. I am glad that I have co-workers that are half as crazy as I am. Since Model Arab League was this week, dear David also became the mascot of the Rocky Mountain Regional. Mark and Wes thought I was crazy too, but towards the end of the model, all paid homage to the power of the David Niven photo watching over us.

I am glad that the Rocky Model is over. Logistically it went incrediably well and I only want to have the U hold it again to stroke my event planning ego. Even with the craziness of it all it went well....the Joint Defense Council invoked the Joint Defence and Economic Cooperation Treaty signed by the Arab League and well....it went crazy. The editor of the Chrony will be writting a huge story on the chaos which should be out on Monday..I hope that he can explain it better than I and when it is up I will post a link. Tentatively the headline will be "Terrorist Attacks, Military Coup at the University Union".

Additionally on Wednesday I accepted the job offer to be the new Outreach Assistant. It will signify some changes for us at home, but I am really excited about this new prospect. I officially start on March 20th.

I am surprised that I have managed to survive this week, and now that all the big events are over I have to dive in head first into some school projects....but for now, Mr.3 and I are gonna go to the Spaghetti Factory to cash in those free meal coupons we got for the waitress spilling milk all over my veil at our family wedding dinner.

Thank you...

to whoever left the copy of the school newspaper in the bathroom stall I just visited. Women cannot get away with the blatet carrying in of reading material to a public restroom such as men manage to, so when I went to the bathroom just now facing the prospect of being bored for a few minutes only to discover the reading treasure left for me. To whoever that was, I salute you.

In the future:

Compatibility with a life-mate will be determined not by personality or financial status but by the gastroinstestinal tract. The majority of this weekend, Mr.3 and I have been alternating in our use of the bathroom, luckily our bodies have been in sync and their have been no conflicts. I think that this truly bodes well for our future.

nothing much really

I hope to start posting again soon, my head needs to sort itself out and I am not having much luck with it at the moment. Bear with me.

Mrs. 3 checks in

Hello all!
I'm married and doing well. I am not sure what to say at the moment about the wedding (the wedding website will be forthcoming), but I am glad that all is over. No matter how much planning you do or get done ahead of time, it is a given that my mom will freak out. Not that that is a bad thing, but I tried to have everything finished so that she wouldn't need to worry about anything.

Anyway, so I am back at work...not being too productive, but having a grand time watching the following situation unfold with the bug. The bug is being forced to sell her house, I suspect but can not confirm by the IRS. As the bug is a predictable animal, at times when her personal life is going to hell she lashes out at those at work she feels most threatened by and for once, it isn't me. The poor victim in this case is our dear AA Teri, who after today would probably fire her if she could. Today the bug has been whining....her printer jammed and besides the thing being too noisy she doesn't want to change the trays out. And of course she doesn't want to use the communal printer because "she prints sensitive material about the students and who knows who would be able to see it". As Teri so aptly put it, all staff members are cleared to see the student information, we are just not allowed to talk about it. Of course, this appalled the bug who for some reason is being EXTREMELY protective of the student files at the moment....which is odd...when she is not in trouble she seems to have no problem telling anyone who will hear it about other people's private files. Either way, her freaking out over the printer is driving Teri to the end, and her irrational fears about others in the office "taking her office" or "going through her files", etc, etc. I mentioned last week to Teri that I thought that the bug drank at her desk, but that I couldn't prove it, it was just a hunch. Mr.3 said that she was plowed at our wedding ceremony -which with the location and timing of the event meant that she had to be drinking on the job- I think at the moment that Teri is willing to suspect anything and everything of the bug. Which is not good for the bug, but rather amusing for me to watch.

Lately, with Model Arab League coming up and getting back into the swing of things at work I have been trying to do less and less and of course, trying to lessen the office's dependence on me. I wasn't even gone for 3 hours on Wednesday and the world was falling apart. A few years ago I would have loved to be this indispensible but not anymore. It becomes a burden. I don't need the guilt that everything will collaspe if I am not there to haunt me on every vacation that I take. As I don't take vacations anyway, but would like to more often, getting rid of the office dependence on me is a vital goal. Plus, I do not get paid enough to be this depended upon.

Hummm....anything else that I want to discuss at this time? I don't think so. that is all the news that is fit to print then.

So I missed Day 5,4,and 3--Day 2 of Being Single

We had a SuperBowl party this weekend which went pretty well. I cleaned like a madman and I can still feel it in my legs. I have a bunch more stuff to do tonight and I only hope that I can manage and still feel awake. Oh, so tired....

Friday night I went to my alteration appointment...keep in mind that I was already annoyed that they called and told me that they hadn't charged me for hemming the damn thing and that I owe them another 100. When I tried the dress on it was still to long and I was tripping over it. Feeling tears beginning to form I was ready to just leave but Libby made me stay and made them fix the problem. The dress should be ready tonight, so keep your fingers crossed. Apparently the dress is supposed to be so long that you can't see your feet when you walk, but then again I shouldn't have to hop/kick up the skirt when I walk so that I don't fall flat on my face...and knowing me, it would happen.

On the good news, we are getting a new dining room table. We are buying it for $50 from the Holts and they are going to deliver it for us this weekend. My Dad brought the chairs down last night, I forgot how hideous they are and item number one on my list of new projects is to reapolster and repaint them. Still it is a great deal and incredibly thoughtful.
Next on the -how-great-can-that-be-news-scale, is that I had a comp night ticket for the Homestead resort and Linda, who has been working with them for a conference we are holding there in June, got them to comp me another room...so now Mr.3 and I have free honeymoon accomodations!! With the money we have just saved we can get a couples massage at their uber-expensive spa...that is if we feel like leaving our room at all. We have been so tired lately, I think that we will probably just sleep the majority of the time...Yes, we will probably act like an old married couple on our honeymoon...although my underwear that I ordered for the event came in the mail the other day. wink-wink

The bad news (besides something that I can't mention here) is that Dr. Weiss who is going to perform the service was taken ill with an absess in his lower jaw. He thinks that he will be alright, but it is the worry that he won't be.

Day 6 of being single

I figured that I might as well continue with the countdown regardless of the silly factor.

Last night I didn't get anything finished with the free time that I had, I just kind of sat around and watched TV. I am really unfamiliar with our remote. I did mend the towels. I thought that it was all four of them that needed it but in reality it was only one. Amazing how one shabby towel can make all the rest of them look bad.

We got our first family wedding gift which was surprisingly generous gift for anyone, but to come from my extended family is flabbergasting. We really appreciate it though.

My tax return was posted to my account this morning which was going to pay for all of the wedding stuff---purchasing will now commence in high gear this weekend. Tonight I have my alteration fitting for the wedding dress and an extra fee for the alterations because they forgot to charge me for stuff the first time...damn them. But Libby and I are going to have a light dinner beforehand...not that I will be able to keep anything in my system at the moment. The metformin is kicking my ass and nothing has stayed in my system for more that an hour.

Other than that, it's 10am and I am really to go home. I have class in a half hour in which I hope that I will be able to stay awake for, but I am not sure. This medication makes me soo tired.

7 days of being single

I get married in exactly one week. I am excited and I haven't freaked out so all is well. I think that everything will go well, and if it doesn't you will probably be the first to know.

I am not sure if I should be getting teary eyed over the end of my "single" life. From others it sounds like I should be wistful over it, but I am not really. It feels just like a finalization of our current state of affairs, however the term "finalization" sounds too negative...does a confirmation of existing plans also sound too negative? I know that it makes me sound like some freaky emotionless automatron.

Today was the original date that we had set for our wedding as I thought it would be hilarious to get married on Groundhog's Day, but the Egyptian consultate ruined that plan. He is town today and we will be having lunch and a Model Arab League meeting with him. Then later tonight he will be speaking at the Utah branch of the Council on Foreign Relations. Mr.3 will be going tonight, but not I. I didn't want to cut out early from class again, and I think that I would be able to get a lot of cleaning done tonight. I think that part of the reason why I don't clean too much now is that Mr.3 is normally home at the same time that I am and I don't want him to be around when I clean. I want him to see the results not the process.

Incidently, just about everyone in the office today but the bug will be going to the Egyptian consultate meeting and lunch and man, you can tell that she is sooo pissed. Honestly there is no reason that she should go anyway, but she has been pissy because she couldn't get Linda to pay for her dinner tonight anyway. Oh dear...I would like to say that I really feel bad for her, but that would be an outright lie.

hee hee...should I start to refer to myself as "the future Mrs.3"?

might as well...

...post something so that everyone knows that I am alive...which I am. I just haven't felt like blogging lately, or much of anything for that matter. I guess you can say that I have the blahs...I am oh so tired.

part of it has been that I have been working alot lately. It looks highly probable that I will be taking over the Outreach assistant position at the end of March, and I have been working overtime to help them out. the nice thing is that I am getting time and a half comp time hours and already have 15 hours built up. the wedding is next week and I am not freaking out at all. I have a huge list of things that need to be done but I am definitely not paniking. Although if some of the things that we have in place fall through it might be the end of the world, but let's hope that it doesn't come to that.

hummm....I can't think of anything really...I just want to go home at the moment and relax...maybe I will try to go to one of the craft stores for thread. I fixed our shower curtains this weekend and I need more thread to mend the towels. And then I am not sure if I want to go to my class tonight...it is sad, only 5 weeks into the semester and I am trying to figure out a way to not go to class. pathetic really.

I have some bug gossip....

but I am not going to post about it yet, maybe tomorrow....however for you Star Wars fans out there, look at this site! It was written by another one of the GV bloggers about Star Wars tourism in Tunisia.

A Blog of Interest

One of my fellow authors over at Global Voices (who covers the Persian blogs) is going to Israel on a citizen journalist excursion to write about the similarites and differences between the Israelis and the Persians. At the moment he is waiting to get into Israel, and if they let him in it should be an interesting project to follow.

Blue Monday

My family stayed over the weekend, and while I love them dearly, I don't feel like I had a weekend at all. It was cute though because a lot of this time this weekend was spent on getting clothes and shoes and other misc. small items ready for the wedding. Just the fact that my Dad bought $80 shoes (and that was the 50% of rate) was amazing. And my mom got a shiny outfit that she looks great in.

However, at the moment I find any and all wedding plans to be depressing. Money is so tight and I feel like I have given up a lot already just to save money... So really the last thing that I wanted to do was try coordinate matching tablecloths and napkins.

The current Outreach Assistant's husband got a job in Louisiana and she will be leaving soon. I regretted not applying for the job before she was hired and I am not going to pass it up this time. The paycut is minimal...about $20 a week and I would be working 10 hours less. I would be a fool to pass it up. Linda has pretty much all but hired me for the position. It should be nice and the change should happen in less than 2 months. Right now, anything to get me away from having to work with the bug everyday would be wonderful. I almost killed her on Friday. She messed up on a student committee meeting schedule which affected "I"....and of course in this instance it was "the student's fault" and then not less than 5 minutes later she had a fit because "I's" schedule wasn't working with hers and she was going to have to reschedule a student's committee meeting so that she could go. She is only there for paperwork...which she admits too all the time, but she has to reschedule everything if she can't make it....but oh yeah...when she messes it up, it is the student's responsibility. I think what really made me so mad about the situation was that the May Accord was all about her right to schedule these appointments and how she has SOLE responsibility for them. Mr.3 said to talk to the AA about it, but it wouldn't matter anyway, it would only be an example of how slimey she really is. I don't think that she will ever be fired, not unless something happens in which she can't squirm her way out of.

Fun Link of the Day!

Check out the Ping-Pong Matrix

Finishing one story and beginning another....

Jason notified me yesterday that I wasn't clear on what the resolution was on the Tabula Rasa problem. The deal worked out with my Mom and the manager was that when the credit card company called about the reversal of the charges that he wouldn't object. so all should be well.
Anyway Mr.3 and I have already gone through the 75 invitations and I keep finding people that I want to tell them about it...it is a pain really. But as that one hurdle is over with I can work on other aspects of the wedding now.

Let's talk a little about my medication, shall we? I hate it. A food that my stomach is alright with one day, it's not alright with the other day. Foods that we have in the house I can't eat, so I haven't been eating more than one good solid meal a day, with the other meals resemebling snacks more than anything. Someone mentioned cottage cheese the other day and that has been all I can think about...apparently it is something that I can eat...but we haven't been able to go to the store yet. However today is payday, so that should be better.

to top today off right, I dreamt that I was fighting with my mom---I can't remember what about--but I woke up annoyed and it won't go away.

An Evening Joe Wilson

Last night Mr.3 and I were given the oppurtunity to go and see Ambassador Joe Wilson speak in front of the Salt Lake Chapter of the Council on Foreign Relations. Actually we got to sit at his table, which including a brief 10 minutes of star-struckedness on my part which faded quickly.

For those of you who don't know who he is, Joe Wilson has lately been known as Mr. Valerie Plame (who was "outed" as a CIA employee), but before that he was known as the last American Diplomat to speak with Saddam Hussein in Gulf War 1. But I believe that when the Gulf War broke out he was "acting" Ambassador as the real Ambassador was in the US warning about the possibility of war breaking out at the time war did break out.

Impressions of him: Nice guy when he doesn't talk politics. Fantastic hair, and I would say 95% of the female population in that room would have slept with him if he was willing. He is a self-promoter to the point of being incredibly vain and arrogant. Mr.3 asked him a question privately after the talk and in answering that question told him 3 times to buy his book. Call me crazy but when someone asks you a direct question about 500 tons of yellow-cake uranium that was found in Iraq, the response to that question should not be "buy my book".

What he said that evening: He has a lot of anger about the war in Iraq, as many US democrats do, however it is obvious that his anger is focused on the fact that the current administration did not listen and follow his recommendations. His bush-bashing is completely personal, I do not wish to really discuss the whole issue of his wife being "outed" but he used that in his speech (and probably his book as well) as a further reasoning why he must have been right...it was a case of "I was injured personally, I am a victim, and therefore my opinion is the most correct one", which logically is a load of crap. He wasn't listened to in matters about the Middle East because his knowledge is severely lacking, he may be great and wonderful with Africa, but the Middle East is a completely different animal...here is why:

His definition of weapons of mass destruction: is limited to strictly Nuclear weapons because they alter society and civilization. Biological weapons are weapons of terror and do not affect society in the long term. Anyone who knows about the atrocities Saddam carried out on the Kurdish populations in Iraq can tell you that biological warfare effects you on a systemic level...hum...let's see birth defects, a skewed population demographic, low birth rate, high infant mortalitiy rate, and don't forget little things like the increase in the snake population as all of the birds in the region were killed and there was no natural predators for the snakes. But apparently those are only side effects of "terror weapons".

His lack of knowledge on terrorism in general: Apparently he is under the impression that Ansar el Islam was a pro-Kurdish group rather than a group that was killing Kurds. He also stated that "25 million ethnic people" is no reason to not support our NATO allies. First, where did he get his numbers, secondly the Kurdish situation in Iraq and in Turkey are vastly different and you can't lump them together...but then again he seems to think that Kurds=terrorists. Oddly enough two seconds after he made that statement about the Kurds he stated that HAMAS and Hizbullah were doing things the "right way" in regards to elections, but he failed to mention the whole terrorist bombings which killed innocents. He classifies himself in the lines of a "Progressive" but he isn't really, just another diplomat/pseudo celebrity that believes in the cause that is most popular at the moment. But can you expect anymore from someone who prides himself on delveloping the US stragey in the Rwanda genocide, because we all know how well that turned out.

It is finally over..

After a few phone calls of the Tabula Rasa store manager to me, Mr.3 and my mom it is all finally over.

I feel much better.

The manager from Tabula Rasa just called...

and I feel myself slipping into a dark spiral downwards.

Tabula Rasa is scourging my soul

I feel incredibily hollow at the moment.

Suzanne from Tabula Rasa left a prefectly chipper message on my phone this morning saying that my invitations are in and that they are absolutely beautiful. A hundred dollars and seven hours of printing on Sunday were the alternative arrangements that we had made because they couldn't even promise them to arrive on Monday.

So I called Suzanne back, and told her that I couldn't believe her nerve after treating us like she did to even call me and tell me about the invitations. I told her that her customer service was non-existant, that her people had lied to me, and that when she made no attempt to call me on Saturday night to let me know what had happened that we called the credit card company to reverse the charges. She called me a liar, that I was making it all up about what her employees had told me, about the date that we had been promised. She contended that it was FedEx's fault and that we owed them money. Mr.3 told her that her vendor problems were not our problem.

I have cried so much that I feel hollow. It hurts to know that a company who regularly deals with brides has no tact with dealing with them, who assumes that the bride is just blowing off steam when they lie to her and fail to deliver a time senstive product. It also hurts to know that the perfect invitations with their plum lined double envelopes with the addressed printed on the back, with their plum ink invitations with matching note cards, are sitting in a store less than a mile away...being held hostage by a heartless company who won't even offer a discount to a customer they have wronged. It hurts because I still want those perfect invitations in which my pride will not allow me to accept. It is also going to hurt every time that I look at the new invitations as they will remind me of this whole situation.

I will never shop at Tabula Rasa again.

I feel like I have had to give up alot in relation to this wedding (the Park building, the invitations, the shiny ring, I don't know how we are going to afford a honeymoon and have enough money to live off of through summer). Maybe I should just stop being materialistic and just let go...let go with it all...regret is going to be the death of me. All I know is that I want to be married to Mr.3, I want to grow old with him. I think that we complete each other, but this wedding is going to divide us...the 2 times that we have fought have had something to do with the wedding, and of course the wedding plans make me completely unstable so the sooner we are married and can move on with life the better.

Why Tabula Rasa cannot be trusted...

or, alternative title: How Tabula Rasa is trying really hard to ruin my wedding

Okay, so when I have thought about getting married when I was younger I always wanted to spend the money to get invitations from Tabula Rasa, they were part of the fairytale, right? So I get engaged, I am looking to get invitations, I go to Tabula Rasa.

Problem number one that should have made me re-think what I was doing: the condesending manner in which the manager referred to me and to my mother. Also the same manner in which we were treated when we went to order the invites.

Problem number two that should have made me re-think what I was doing: when we were ordering the invites, the manager kept getting his days confused and kept saying that the invites were going to be in a week later than what he was telling me should happen with the shipping dates.

Nether-the-less I ordered beautiful invitations that left a scalding hole in my parents' pockets.

We ordered the invitations on the 3rd of January. The proof was signed on the 5th, the printing company would then need 3 business days to complete the printing which would mean that they would be completed by Tuesday the 10 and shipped out on Wednesday the 11th at the latest. We paid for next day shipping, making it Wednesday or Thursday at the latest for receiving the invitations. I called on Wednesday, was told that the invitations were not there, and that they had been shipped a day late but will be there tomorrow. I called on Thursday, now there was some delay in shipping because of the weather. I called on Friday, some problem with FedEx, was told that he was going to request a Saturday delivery. Called on Saturday, told that the box was somewhere in Salt Lake but that FedEx was unwilling to deliver it.

At this point I was enraged, and Mr.3 got involved. We were told to meet the Assistant Manager at 6:30pm, because she was going to be in later due to a bridal show. We are there at 6:30, the Assistant Manager isn't there,but she will be there in another half hour and she was told earlier that we were going to be coming. Mr.3 makes the salesman call his manager on the phone, and Mr. 3 talks to her the entire time of her drive back. No matter how many times we explain the situation, no one is willing to do anything for us about our invitations. 7:15ish Assistant Manager finally arrives in the store. Apologizes, doesn't know what is wrong, feels really sorry for us. 20 minutes into this conversation we have to mention the possibility of a refund of some sort....the Assistant Manager says that there is no way she is going to pay FedEx after the situation---hello...you already charged us for the shipping...you don't pay anything. It is also around this time that we find out the invitations were not shipped until the 12th, the day that we have in writing as the day the invitations would be in by. Even with being shipped by that time we still should have had them by Saturday. Yet now we are being told that they might be in on Monday, but they can't guarentee that. And we have no assurances that they will give us any sort of a discount. Mr.3 did a wonderful job trying to work with them and dispite the efforts of negotation...I snapped.

I jumped up from my seat, crying and began to yell in the store how this situation was impossible. They find a way of getting those invitations tonight or we were calling the credit card company and reversing the charges. I was the irrate bride.

The Assistant Manager did nothing to help us. She didn't even try to deal with FedEx beyound talking to a tier 1 lackey. They failed to notice that there was a problem with the order on Wednesday when I first called (but they did manage to keep a record of my calls). They also did nothing to notify me that there was a problem with my order. They also never called me last night to tell me what they had managed to find out about the invites. So we called the credit card company to cancel the charges for failure to deliver. Tabula Rasa now has to eat $350+ in non-reuseable invitations, I hope they enjoy them.

We have now wasted two whole weeks in getting out invitations, and now we are scrambling to make them. Mr.3 and I bought (after multiple "disagreements" on how to arrange everything) pre-made invitation kits to make the invites. I went online and stole the grafics of the invites that I had originally ordered to put on our new invites...hopefully the printer ink will hold out, but I am not sure. Mr.3 has been working his magic on the computer and printer to get everything done, but as it is invites will be getting to people 3 weeks before the ceremony. We are easily in our 6 hour of printing and haven't gotten to the reception cards yet.

To say that I am disappointed with Tabula Rasa would be an understatement at best. I feel betrayed and swindled. They have proven themselves to be a snooty sales staff with no customer services skills whats-so-ever, and a company that can not deliver on any business promises that they make to their customers. Do not ever buy anything from them, especially pre-printed invitations, you will only get burned!

Sick and Tired

I have now missed 2 weeks of the Kurdish updates on Global Voices...something that I used to live for. I think that partly I feel a little jaded with the Kurdish stuff at the moment. On KBU we keep sending emails back and forth saying how we all want the site to continue but no one really does anything. Before the new year I was trying to post everyday so that we wouldn't lose our readership, but it shouldn't be the "Delal" show over there...that is why I have this blog. It's frustrating, but I really need to get back to it.

I have been on my first week of medicine. Sugar now makes me physically ill and I can feel my body feeding off of itself---I am pizza the hut!---Mr.3 keeps making me eat. Which really isn't that bad, but if I could have my way at all right now, I wouldn't be eating at all. Let's hope that this works.

Tabula Rasa is going to catch some hell today. My invitations were supposed to be in yesterday and when they called they said that there was a problem on the shipper's end and that they should be in today. But they haven't called me yet to tell me that they are in and well....I need to get them out in the mail...now!

I got a new computer at work today, it is an updated MAC, really nice...the keyboard is so wonderful and springy! Randy's boss in the College paid for it, but I really don't think that a new computer will solve the basic code problem in the new Humanities system. wow, I really love this keyboard, and the speakers are much louder...I am so easily amused.

I get married in one month

cool, isn't it? I have so much left to do. I received an email from Dione whose wedding plans are no longer in her hands anymore, yet she is expected to pay for it all. Instead of May 2007, she is now getting married in December 2006...and she sounds a little petrified. I am glad that I don't have months to plan this thing, I would go crazy-more than what I am now, at least my mania is kept at a low point.

Went to the endocronologist yesterday and had a meeting with the Linguistics advisor. The endocronologist was well...interesting... I only made the appointment because Dr. Warner said that I should be treated for insulin resistance and the best way to do that was to be started on a certain medication. We made the appointment, but were unable to get into the Dr. she had been working with, we were able to meet with his "understudy" as it were. She completely disagreed with their research, thought that there was no merit to it (pretty harsh decision coming from someone who was just board certified) and refused to fill out a prescription for me, but proceeded to lecture me for 20 minutes as if I had no idea that I was fat. She wouldn't believe anything that Mr.3 or I said...in her mind, I was fat because I ate too much and that was that. After the lecture, and me being close to tears, she cheerfully asked what I wanted to do. When I told her that the only reason I made the appointment was to discuss the medication option and not to be lectured to she went to go and talk to the doctor that I was supposed to see anyway. They talked in the hallway for a few minutes and then she stomped back into the room to write the perscription. Dr. Knodel (who is the one working with Dr. Warner) came in to talk to us about it, and was excited that I was willing to persue this line of treatment. As Mr. 3 put it, "little doctor girl got spanked". Regardless, the incident was enough to shatter my self-esteem for the rest of the day.

Next up, went to talk to the Linguistics advisor yesterday. It went well, I should be done with my program in Spring of 2007...and it is recommended that I write a thesis but is not required to graduate. I think that I am going to start research this summer and try to get as much of it written as I can beforehand. Oh, dear. As I was writing this the bug came to visit wanting to know what she has to do with my old file to drop me. I better figure this out before she somehow gets me dropped from the school all together.

Spring Semester's Eve

T'was the night before spring semester
and all through the house
not a student was stirring
just sleeping like a louse

their packbacks were filled
with notebooks and pens
that will help with their studying
on which their grades depends

sleep with without worry
for tonight is the last night
spring semester begins
on the next mornings light




....yes...I am fully aware of the hokiness....see you all at school tomorrow!

another short break...I guess

on Wednesday I found a new kind of illness which completely incompasitated me...not fun...I think that it was a last hurrah of the flu from the holidays.

found out that we can't use the Park Building for the ceremony, but we have been given permission to use the Hinckley instead. at first the thought of having the ceremony in OSH didn't appeal to me but it does have a carmic effect to it: Mr.3 and I met in OSH, we practically live their because of school and work anyway, and he proposed to me in OSH...we might as well complete the circle and get married there. Plus the Hinckley will let us use the room for free, I don't have to worry about paying for a security guard or chair set-up, and dear Jayne said that she would film the ceremony onto a DVR for me...it's great! and it gets to keep the small wedding feeling that I want and people get to see my dress.

I will definitely be wearing flats for the wedding as I think that I broke my toe. I was shaving my legs, and when I do that I stand in the shower and put my foot up on the wall. Well I had just finshed one leg and as I was putting the other foot up on the wall I manged to kick two of my middle toes up into the spigit. yeah, I know talent. I broke my foot doing the conga up the stairs it seems fitting to break my toe shaving my legs.

in other news, saw King Kong today, loved it and cried a bit. go see it if you haven't.

A short break

The past 2 days has been a short break from blogging, although it was an attempt to have a short break from everything, that doesn't feel like it is working. Besides the fact that I dreamt last night that a man came into the Middle East Center with a shotgun looking for the bug and that I talked him out of killing us all....I woke up not really wanting to go to work. Dreading it in fact. I don't normally feel this way about my job. Mr.3 said that it was a sign that I am a grownup, but call me crazy...what is the point of making yourself miserable doing something that consumes 70% of your waking time?

Went to my follow-up with Dr. Warner today. The spinal pressure in my head is down way low and my eyesight is unaffected, which is wonderful. She did mention however that I am showing diabetic precursors and that I appear to be insulin resistant. So next week I will be seeing an endochronologist about that. Apparently there is a lot of research going into insulin resistant people not being able to lose weight, and with treatment for the resistance they have been able to lose weight. One thing that was scary was she said that if I was to become pregnant I would have gestational diabetes...I really want kids in the future (in fact my number one fear is actually not being able to have children-yes I know it's weird) so this is really affecting me. My mom has always said wait 3 years after being married to have children, and now I am at the point of realizing that within the next 3 years or so I will have a child, so this is something that I really need to work on.

I have less than 3 years to lose half of my body weight.

and I am only frickin 26!

I have so much to post about (I had a tarot reading done, impressions about the interview, the sanctity of the website compromised) but the most important thing of the day...the one thing that must be discussed as a matter of dire import is that tonight I FOUND A GRAY HAIR!

AHHHH!!!! A FRICKIN' GRAY HAIR!

I was looking at myself in the bathroom and there it was shining like a beacon. You could see the line of the hair dye from when I dyed it last...it was two inches! First of all, how could I have a grey hair....second of all....how long has it been there without my noticing it!?! Oh! How my body betrays me!

Well, the interview is finished...

and I think that I did alright, I didn't sound too stupid.

So here are some more detailed instructions on how to listen to the program, as many were unable to listen to it live:
go to this website
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/world_have_your_say/#
On the right hand side click the link "Listen to the Programme". It will automatically take you to today's program, it looks like they keep up the radio program links for a week or so, but I am going to see if I can make a full recording of the interview.

BBC Interview

As most of you know, I write 2 weekly columns covering Kurdish and Turkish Bloggers for a website called Global Voices. I will be interviewed tomorrow to discuss the year in Kurdish and Turkish blogs on the BBC Radio show World Have Your Say, from 1845 to 1900 GMT (that's 11:45-noon if you are in Utah). If you have time, please tune in.

Make her go away! Make her go away!

Mr.3 is ill today with the same crap that I am just getting over with, so my built in office moral support is gone.

Yesterday was wonderful as the bug wasn't here, but today she is just hovering over on this side of the office with her giant flaring nostrils and she JUST WON'T LEAVE!!! I know that I goof off a lot at work, but I am at least at my own desk and not in everyone else's office. She spent something like 2 hours chatting with the new AA today. The first hour or so was legit. Teri, the AA, was explaining to her what an interconnected office computer system would be like and how it is something she would like to institute here. The bug was ok with it until she found out that it would be possible in that system to monitor what everyone else is doing on their computer...and just at the thought of someone actually watching over her productivity or inproductivity freaked her out...she started to complain about all of the "sensitive information" that she had on her computer. It is only sensitive because she really has no idea what is on her computer and how to find it after a full year. The second hour or so was spent bitching about her husband...Teri is new and hasn't heard it all yet, but I hope that she becomes sick of it as well. Part of this bitch session was actually conducted in my office in which she complained that she had been married for 40 years but was ready to throw him off and get herself a new signficant other...in other words "I plan on draining every last drop of a soul (and cash) that I can out of my husband and then I plan on finding a new victim to make miserable until the end of his days...muhaahaaha!"

I think part of it today might be that I noticed how relaxed I was from yesterday and now that I have acknowledged that I am supersenstive to it. I think that more and more lately I just want to leave this job. I have basically stopped working at it and I spend most of the day doing non-work related stuff and trying to hide from the bug. Maybe I just really need to take a few more days off.

In other news, Isil came by with her little boy Ozan. It was the first time that I have gotten to see him in person and boy, is he just a doll. Of course on cue somehow the bug must have sensed someone else's merriment and she came out of her office to spoil it. Ozan was hilarious, because each time she went to slather kisses all over his face (of course keep in mind that she has just told me that her daughter is getting over the flu and thinks that she might be coming down with it herself) he would make this face like he was crapping his pants. Oh the little bits of joy that I do manage to find.

Almost like being at work...

So "I" wanted me to make sure that I put up a picture for him on the website I made for him. However, with the recent switch over from the old website to the new College mandated one, I haven't made a new one for him. Today I decided to create a blog for him, it has the same information as the previous site, but I think that it just looks sharper...I hope that he thinks so as well. The neat thing was that I was working all day legitmately on a blog.

And, the bug was not at work today---she took the day off!!!---thank goodness! I got so much done today, and making sure that the professors finally got all of their grades in wasn't nearly as stressing at it normally is. In fact Mr.3 said that my shoulders had no knots in them after work today, where normally they are rock solid. It is really sad that she apparently affects me as much as she does.

Also, Mr.3 is now sick with the same crap I am just now getting over...I don't know how many times I can apologize because what I had I would only wish on the bug.

Lacking Patience

I had an ephipany moment over a sewing machine this morning. For Christmas I got a sewing machine, which means that I can continue trying to be a domestic goddess...but it dawned on me that they reason why I am not one now is that I have no patience with myself. Sure I have patience for other people and other situations, but if it is something that I completely control and can't finish in one sitting, then forget it, no patience. This is why I have a hundred different craft projects started but never finished. This is why I procrastinate school projects...If I can finish it all at one time then I won't do it. This is way I can never get the dishes caught up...I fill up the dish rack once and let it dry and forget to come back.

So my goal (not a resolution-those never work and have time limits) is to learn to have patience with myself, and start little projects that I will finish (not just hope to)...I plan on reaching this goal sometime before I die. Wish me luck.

I survived another day...

and it was a good day because it was christmas. I got literally everything...I mean everything...that I put on my list. I had a bunch of obscure Turkish CDs that I wanted and my mom tracked them all down....plus my Dad got me a sewing machine! It is something that I have been wanting lately, I think just to have it, and now I have one. So I guess that I better use it.

in other news, we heard back from Dr. Weiss today, he agreed to perform the marriage ceremony between Mr.3 and I---which just puts the coolness factor of our wedding through the roof! Everything seems to be going really well. Now if only I can get rid of this cold...

A Nountain of Tisswues

My cold has now noved ninto ny nose, and all ny nasal consonants are now "nnn's". Nit sucks.


Breaking from my speaking abilities and back into the typing voice, I saw the cutest thing the other day. One of the Turkish students in the Center came in yesterday with his little son. The little kid was so cute! He kept "Kose kose geldi baba! Kose kose!" Which basically translates into "make it go faster daddy, faster faster!" Of course, with all of the Linguistics classes that I have taken I noticed how the little kid didn't conjugate his verb correctly, but research has found that all children- no matter the language-learn their basic language systems the same. So one of the first items that they learn is the past tense, they may not conjugate it correctly, but they use it first. And now that I have said that, please think about all of the times that you have seen a very little kid say "it goed" and you might not think that I am that crazy.

And back to my cold. I have never had a cold like this, I have been sneezing constantly since when got to my parents house and I am thinking about getting the box of tissues that I have been carrying around the house, surgically grafted to my skin. Oh how convienent that would be! I hope that everyone's holiday is going well. Till tomorrow.

Well, this is more for my Mom than anyone...

So we have been working on wedding plans, and today we went to look and ask at a possible venue for the ceremony: the Park Building on campus. I like the idea of staircases and they have some beautiful ones there. Here is a tour....





There are two floors in the foyer. This is a view of both of them, in the background you can sort of see the possible seating on the first floor if we have the ceremony there.













This is a view of the stairs in which I could go up or down depending on which floor we hold the ceremony on.













This is view from the top of the stairs.















If we got married on the second floor, this would be the view of the area we are standing in from the audience's persceptive.










Here is a view of the seating area on the second floor, it is twice as large as shown here.











This is a view of the foyer from the first floor, we would be standing for the ceremony were the tree is.








We contacted the events coordinator for the building, and I don't think that it will be a problem---it might be free.

I want my voice back!

This is the third day this week that I have had so much mucus running down my throat that I have no voice. Well I have a voice, but I sound like I have been a heavy smoker for 50 years. This morning, and I warn you this is gross, I was trying to cough out some of the phelm and I felt a bubble of mucus develope and pop in my throat.

Gossip Banaza!

Well is isn't as festive as it sounds but it kinda is.

First of all, remember the situation from last week with the bug---about her telling people that scholarships had been given out before the deadline? Well she got "talked to" about that. Apparently she only told one person, and when in a meeting with him (not Mr.3 by-the-way) she in no uncertain terms let it be known that she had control over his file and could really screw him over. The student in question was just going to let it pass and try to ignore her...but that won't happen. So we managed to convince him to email "I" to address the issue. Her being/saying something routinuely stupid that damages herself is no reason for her to blackmail others. Everytime something like this happens--all to often--Mr.3 and I start looking at other school options. The other student was considering doing his PhD at Utah, but now he won't consider it because of the bug. He, like many others, just want to finish and get out of there as fast as possible before she really messes things up.

Second item, some students have had some issues with one of our Persian instructors. About a month ago they left an unsigned letter on my desk for our director. At the time the letter threatened to go over "I"'s head if he didn't get rid of her. But since there is no name, no one he can talk to about their complaint he can't do anything about it. That apparently has not stopped this person/persons, as they made up 2 different signs, specifically calling upon the Director to can this particular professor. They put these signs up all over OSH and LNCO (I know because we wandered the halls trying to find them all) and stuffed them under other department professors' doors. Obviously this is escalating, but how can this subject be addressed? Good question, and I don't get paid the big bucks to find the answer to it. As to suspects, besides some random disgruntled student...is another professor in the office that likes to stir up trouble or...the bug (yes, I know that the comment is slanderous, but I base this on her reactions to the signs themselves---she might not be the one doing it, but I think she has a good idea of who it is). Either way, all options are certifiable creepy and underhanded.

And on the subject of creepy, the bug after lunch today....absolutely reeking of peppermint scope...asked about libations for our wedding reception. I told her that there will probably be something, but I wasn't sure what yet. Anyway she offered (as her gift) to buy all of the alcohol for the reception. I told her thanks but no thanks...it was a really nice offer, but I prefer to have absolute control on what is served at my reception. If you bring your own stuff, great...but there are certain things that I need to make sure are there.

Dress Shopping

I took today off from work so that my mom and I could go on a dress shopping excursion. We had limited time as she had to be at an appointment at 3.

First stop, Tabula Rasa for invitations: I really just wanted to go and get an idea about pricing and time tables. Almost 2 books and an hour into this...just as I was giving up and trying to figure out a way to make the invitations on my own, my mom turns a page and both of us squeal at the same "oohhhh!!!". Yeah I think that we found what we want(number 42-45165 on the top right if you want to see)...now we just have to work on the wording. It was cute, she got all goopy when we were there.

Then we had a couple of other errands we needed to run, so we had a half hour or less by the time we got to David's Bridal. We walked in, and next thing I knew I had a bunch of catalogs, an appointment with a consultant...and was having trouble breathing. We walked around looking at the racks for awhile and then as it kept getting closer and closer to the time to go...and more and more pricetags looming in front of me...as we left I practically ran out crying. I am not sure why I have this anxiety but I do.

So...I go and wait for my mom at her meeting. Then we returned, me still with my nose red from the first breakdown. The first girl who was helping us was the assistant of the real consultant. I told her that I wanted a lighter dress, not a full bridal...yeah that didn't go well with her.

Here is the problem with wedding dresses....they are HUGE...and I am a big girl to begin with, I don't need more fabric to make it worse. They first squeeze you into a corset which makes everything spluge out the bottom and the top...plus after being in this thing for a couple hours I have bruises----yes BRUISES---on my ribs. After they vacuum suck the top of you into the corset then they have you put this slip that is extra boofy on the bottom. And of course it is scratchy and while you are in this slip, the dresses you are trying on, and of course someone else in this room to help zip you up there isn't room to move, let alone breathe....which I guess is sort of the reason why they make you wear the corset in the first place.

Dress Number 1: oh...the dream "if I was going to have a big wedding dress", which looked alright on me, but the dress was so big and bulky...I kept feeling like I was going to fall out of it and if I did, the dress would just continue to stand as I desperately try to get out of the folds on the bottom. I told the helper girl that I really didn't like it---no matter how much jewelry she kept trying to put on me---I had to ask her 3 times before she would unlace me...I'm sorry but keeping me hostage in a dress is not going to make me buy it.

Dress Number 2: was the random, "well I kind of like the flower dress" but when I came out in it, everyone did a swift intake of breath...this is it, and ultimately it is the one we got. By this time we had the real bridal consultant lady. She was very helpful and tried to get a bunch more dress options for us...but everything kept getting compared to the second dress. At the end of it all, when we had decided that we were going to buy it and had picked out a veil and a tiara (I got a tiara! I got a tiara!), my mom and I decided to try it on without the corset and the bulky underslip thingy....it looked even better. So when I get the alterations done, it needs to be a bit more snug around the neck line and well...I'm fricking short, I am going to make sure that they alter it so that it works better without the bulky stuff. Plus we would be able to futher alter it later so that it can be a dress worn for another occasion...which was very important for me. The dress was more than what I wanted to spend, but it was perfect! As were the invitations! Unfortuately this means that the $500 wedding I wanted is fastly approaching the $1000 mark. But oh well...I am happy with what we have found so far.

the demise of the typepad account

I had gotten a typepad account because Mr.3 and I wanted to create our own website...however I was having such a hard time with trying to get the software to work...so with 8 days left on our trial I canned it. Now we have the domain for the extrinsicsynergyproject and we will keep it, but we are just going to build the website from scratch sometime early next year.

for other news...there isn't any....I have been laying in bed all day...gosh it's nice!

Fucking A!

It's finished...school for this semester. I finished my phonetics paper at 2 am last night (not bad for writing a 15 pager starting at 7pm)...I think that I will do alright with it..it was a hard topic and a little adventurous so I hope that it is appreicated. I also just got my L2 portfolio back, 94 out of 100! I worked my ass off in the that class and so this grade excites me to no end! If I managed to do well in that class, I have all of my other classes taken care of, no sweat. Thank god this semester is over!

Oh so close to being done...

I just finished my phonetics final and now all I have left between me and winter break is my phonetics paper due tomorrow. There is no doubt as to whether I will finish it, the only question is when am I going to start the damn thing. The bug will be out of the office for a couple of hours this afternoon, so I should be able to work on things without her interrupting me. Not that she has been interrupting me much at all today...that is because she is hiding from Mr. 3. She said something that she shouldn't have (yet again) about scholarships to another student, who is a friend of ours. He mentioned it to Mr.3, and as this particular item that she said affects the graduate students in the department, Mr.3 asked about it. The easiest way to sum up the situation is that she really stepped in it this time and there will be at least one possibly more students going to talk to "I" about it. Remember last time when she told Mr.3 that he took second in a scholarship opportunity that he didn't know about? Well now she is telling students that for a scholarship (which the application deadline is the 15th of next month) that out of the four available, two have already been given away....yeah it will ultimately be a bad thing. Everything would have been fine if she just kept her mouth shut. Now I do not know what the deal is about telling students that scholarships have already been awarded...but common sense would decree that you just wouldn't tell a student something like that. She is setting herself up again. And of course it would be bad to start off with the new AA with something like this.

She does this to herself a lot. She will get threatened by something and in her reactions to shore up her defenses she ends up doing something that will sabotage herself. I just have to make sure that I stay as far away from this as I possibly can....I doubt that I will get pulled down into this, but I really don't want to take any chances.

looking for a TA-ship

I finally decided that I am going to apply for a Turkish teaching ta-ship for next fall semester. I have been toying with the idea for a while, and since I am actually trying to get a degree in teaching, actual experience would be a plus. When I mentioned this to the bug, you should have seen the look on her face. Her first response was.."you can't". Excuse me? There is nothing barring me from applying, and past office assistants have had teaching positions. Her excuse for the comment was that there was probably going to be some problem with HR or the graduate school...but there won't be because the department has the ability to ask for an exemption to policy. For some reason she seems to think that something like that can't happen, when it has in the past, because she says so. Of course she is also telling all the students not to apply for political science but history and once they get accepted they can transfer over. What, I would like to ask, is the reason for not applying to what you intend to apply for in the first place? If poli sci isn't accepting people why try to sneak them in on the side? Not everyone gets accepted and people need to understand that. But telling me that I can't do something...that takes a lot of nerve.

The new AA starts on Friday. She seems really nice, or at least she is still in shock to be possibly working in a non-hostile environment, but if she is willing to take a demotion to work here, it must really suck where she is coming from. Now I know that Kate probably filled her in on a lot of items, based on certain things that she has said to me...so she knows what is up with the bug. The tension between the two of them is fantastic. The bug keeps trying to play up the "we are about the same age" card with her, and it isn't working. They are perfectly amiablical with each other, but you can so tell that the bug is completely threatened, I love it. Even if the new person turns out to be just awful (which I highly doubt) I could handle it if only to see the bug squirm. I don't think that they new girl is going to let her get away with stuff. Not that Kate let the bug get away with stuff as if she wasn't trying, because she did and so did "I", but the new AA I suspect will be much much more direct with her. The bug hates confrontation and I don't think that the new girl has any problem with it.

Plus you can also tell that the bug is threatened because she has been picking on Mr. 3 and (this afternoon) on me...oh but the satisfaction of that tension...it's wonderful!

Hungry for attention?

I am currently going through a selfish/must-gratify-my-ego stage. I find myself doing so many things that I am just seeking out constant praise or mention....It is truly awful and petty of me. I have got to make it stop as my constant ego gratification is taking me away from doing the things that i should...like work or my phonetics paper due on Thursday---which I really haven't started but it is on taking stress assignment theory for the Turkish language and translating that into a workable teaching paradigm in the Turkish as a Second Language classroom.

let's see, other news...yesterday was my Dad's birthday--Happy Birthday Dad! We ate at Tony Roma's and the bastards there raised up their prices again, I mean really raised them up and made it so that you had to pay extra for a soup or salad with your dinner! And I put up with it because I have this thing for their Carolina Honey Barbeque Sauce....yummm. Does anyone remember the old Chili's commericals where people were always trying to find a way to bring home their salsa? I feel like using those types of tactics at Tony Roma's to get their sauce, only because I am too lazy to actually pay for the bottles.

checking my other email accounts....

so today I finally got around to checking my comcast email, which I manage to remember once a month or so. Perhaps I should do that more often as I got a email from a comment on my Dirty Dishes video. Apparently they liked it and wanted to know if I videoblog as a regular thing. I am not sure, it could be fun. There is a need program that will let you edit your digital video--I was thinking about it for the wedding--if I had more than one use for it, I would be highly in favor of buying it.

ahh...sunday, the day of rest?

No posting yesterday as I was up at 3 am posting the Global Voices 2005 London Summitt Conference thingy, it was interesting and I am formulating a lot of ideas--which I am not going to post here but probably here instead.

Yesterday we went to see Syriana...which was excellent! Watching it with Mr.3 and knowing what I know about the world, it just reaffirmed a lot of decisions that I have come to in my life....such as not working for the government. When I had the job offer taken back from an undisclosed 3-lettered agency, I at first was really upset....now I know that it was a sign that the government was not the place for me to be. I know that there is a lot of mystery/romance/intrique that surround being an "agent" of some organizations, but I don't think that a lot of the people around the center fully realize what the realities of that job entail...and perhaps they should. I have no doubt that I would be able to do all that would be asked of me in that situation, however I would perfer not to have to let my psyche go into that dark part that I know exists inside all of us.

In other news....I haven't really posted about what the preliminary wedding plans are...yes I know that was a complete total change of subject...but I have been telling everyone in person so I might as well tell my readers. I am the type of person who wants to have everything planned as soon as possible, and I have the basic outline, I just have to wait until the first week of school to finalize plans with money. Mr.3 and I don't like crowds and the idea of a big expensive wedding is enough to send me into fits. We are going to do a private Justice of the Peace ceremony, which we will have videotaped and put up on the web for our family and friends around the world to see. Then we will have a "mini-reception", but more like a regular party at our house for our friends in the area. For a honeymoon, we are sorta planning on going up to the Homestead resort for the weekend. So that is the bare-bones plan for the whole shebang which will probably take place the end of January/beginnng of February. I am pushing for Groundhogs Day because I just think that would be funny. Even though he tells me that it is fine, I am still unsure if Mr.3 is alright with me making plans on everything, including the honeymoon...but if it bugs him, I expect that he will just have to be more vocal about it? However, if any of our local friends have a digital videocamera would you let us borrow it? Or would you film the ceremony for us? I can edit the tape and stuff I just need someone to do the taping.

Plagued by the urge to Do something...

productive maybe...or not. I can't seem to decide. I finished the second portfolio yesterday and have since then been experiencing some odd workaholic let-down. I didn't have the ability to form coherent sentences yesterday, yet I managed to edit HTML code for an hour in the afternoon. In fact I could have done it for longer but it was after 5 and time to go home.

I have been diddling about the office most of today. I have been really looking forward to tonight, as it is the Global Voices conference. It is in London, so I have to be up at 3am to be able to participate online, but it should be really cool. And I offered to help blog about the conference, so if you are interested check it out later.

Maybe I will go back to playing with the code stuff again...

From Jittery to Spastic

So apparently I have hit my second, third, and fourth wind and I am just bouncing off the walls. I still haven't finish the second portfolio but I am oh...so close... I was working on it until 4am, at which point I went to bed under some strange impression that a little bit of sleep, no matter how long it was would actually help. I am still unsure as to if it has. When I got to bed last night Mr.3 was snoring because he was so stuffed-up. I didn't have the heart to wake him, needless to say...my less than 2 hours of sleep wasn't done without considerable waking on my part. The circles under my eyes are like craters and I have put an obnoxious amount of undereye concealer on to help. Today is going to be so much fun!

JITTERS!!

so I haven't gotten very much sleep at all the past few days as I have been madly scrambling to get various projects finished....lack of sleep makes me cold...and since the weather has decided to slip into subzero...this just adds to my coldness. In order to warm myself up I have been keeping a constant stream of hot drinks in my system. Now I normally have tea at night as it calms me and clears my head, but every night this week I have had the double boiler going and a steady supply of tea in my little tea-cup. I have been added more and more sugar to it lately. Then today I started drinking coffee, which I normally can't have in the morning as it will upset my stomach...I had something like 3-6 full cups of coffee throughout this morning. I also haven't had anything to drink today that hasn't had some measure of caffine in it....so consequently I am quite jittery and talking/thinking/all mental and physical processes going at a thousand miles a minute. I just put the doubleboiler on for more tea, I am sure that my system is going to self-distruct with all of this caffine and sugar but I think that I am in withdrawls of well...something... I finished the mountain dew from dinner about a half hour ago.

the good news is I finished that fricking research project paper----oh god it was awful!----and I just plugged out my weekly for GV on the Kurdish Blogosphere...all that remains is the portfolio for L2 Methodology which, holy hannah!, I have a lot of work to do. And I can't exactly work on it at work because the special characters for Turkish don't want to translate over from the PC to the MAC. Oh and we are supposed to have some special potluck thingy tomorrow in that class, and I'm sorry but who really has the time to make something the night before a HUGE project is due. We are supposed to bring food from our region that we are specializing in and since my socio-lingual presentation everyone is expected me to bring something "amazing and foreign" the only thing that I can afford to make at the moment is pita bread and trust me I don't have an extra 3 hours to spend doing that at the moment. Normally bread making is quite theraputic for me...but today I would probably collapse if I started..

ok, so I think that I have done enough brain-cleanseing for the moment, now I have to start working on that portfolio....oddly enough it has felt like the middle of the night since about six this evening...and it is only 9pm. The ulitmate goal: in bed by 11pm...but knowing me lately, it will be 1am.

Going completely OUT OF MY MIND!

At times I have myself deluded into believing that I am just a time management goddess....and sadly, I'm not. So far I have managed fairly well with full time graduate school, full time work, as Hilary puts it a "full time boyfriend"(he's my fiance now-thank you very much!), and the multiples of other extra projects that I am working on....but now that I am in the heat of the end of the semester I am crashing. Part of it wouldn't be that bad, but I have to finish a research paper for tomorrow, all of the reserach and numbers etc have been finished, it is now just a matter of fleshing it out, but everytime I start to work on it, it proves itself to be so boring that my head turns to mush and I begin to drool. Not only is the drool bad for my keyboard, it isn't helping me with actually finishing the paper. I have another big project due on Thursday, which shouldn't be too bad, I just need time to work on it though...and then the last project should be fine because I will have a full week without other classes to intrude.

Here is the hard part, as my mind has turned to mush, I can't focus on one thing let alone the four thousand other things I need to be focusing on....so I have been getting a little testy at times when I am on the phone with someone and someone else (like the bug) seems to think that I can speak with her at the same time as I am helping someone else on the phone.

Either way, I should be working on my paper but I am just going to spend the last hour of work playing with all of the new FedEx supplies that just came in. That should soothe me.

My Annoucement.

I was going to give vivid detail about everything that happened but I keep rethinking that decision. Anyway....here is the news....

Mr.3 and I are officially engaged!

Of courses we have been referring to each other as such for a while and I admit to guiltily looking at wedding guides before the fact. But now that the question has officially been asked I can now refer to my love as my fiance and my soon-to-be husband.

The process of telling people has been relatively slow...partly because I want to keep this exquisite happiness to myself. After all, I said yes because I want Mr.3 all to myself. Is this truly selfish of me?

Then of course this brings me to the whole idea of weddings in general. I have known plenty of girls who have huge elaborate plans made even before they have met their groom. I never have. I know that I like daisies, but that is pretty much all. The logistics of planning a wedding send me into a tailspin. My wedding day should be for me and Mr.3 alone, the idea of spending a huge amount of money now for one day seems riduculous to me, because how much of that day is really for me? Especially if I have to plan and pay for it all. Mr.3 feels this way as well. So we have decided to have a private ceremony, a justice of the peace thing, and then at a later date (when fundage arises) we can have a reception and all of that jazz if we want.

But right now, that is the last thing that I want. I want to be quietly married and then I just want to be alone with Mr.3. I want it to be a soft sweet slide into being married, a surrender to peace...I want it to be just like the morning after Mr.3 proposed where I woke up in his arms and saw him smiling as he watched me sleep, wrapped in that warmth knowing that I am loved completely.