Paul on Thursday told me that in order to end the 4 year sex-absence that I should just hang out at Frat houses on Friday and Saturday nights around midnight-1am. I don't think that Paul understands that getting a one-night stand is not my problem. There are plently of those to be had. Call me crazy but I would like to know the first and last name of the person I sleep with, instead of a hap-hazard post-it note left on the bed-side table explaining how they had a great time, but don't call. Last monday I had dinner with Kelly and her "friend" Doug (they are both disabled and have the possibility of making a very very cute couple) I took a couple of pictures of them and sent them to Doug. Apparently I made a really good impression on Doug because me asked me out. This is not what I need. I told him no, but it really pissed me off. So apparently to the Frat house list for places of possible lovin' I need to add group homes as well.

In another semi-related note...I am starting to panic about the San Fran conference thing. Kani seemed to possibly take the bait, but he has already bought his tickets. Then again I could be diluting myself, yet again on his reactions/feelings which is kind of making me a closet drama queen. I don't plan on coming out with this or anything towards him---I know that he abhors overly dramatic women, but likes it when they are quick-witted---that can be a really fine line. So back to the panic, besides the fact that this is a conference that I really want to go too (without him being there) I am partly worried that I will let my ego get trambled on yet again. One day I might learn, but the probablity of that happening is not high. The other problem is that the second job thingy is not going too well, as I can't really seem to get one---September is getting really really close...ugh. I am going to ask my Dad if I can borrow his credit card, but this is an option that I really don't like as I know that he would probably help me, but really can't afford it. It makes me extra selfish in a way--even though I will pay him back, someday....soon.

In other news, one of my uncle's horses died. My mom is talking to him on the phone right now. He was really shaken up about it, he puts everything into them, all of his money but more importantly his soul. If he didn't have others to care for he would have just shut down like he did when Bar died, which is the horse that he had when I was a little kid.