Friday, October 31, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Public Service Annoucement for Mr. 3

See this?
Remember it?
This is my big behind, and you can kiss it for all I care because this girl is filing the final divorce paperwork today! I've got all my files ready, and as soon as I leave my office at 1 today, I'm heading straight for the courthouse.
And then all I have to do now is wait for the lovely piece of paper to come in the mail that says that I am legally free of you! Whoohoo!

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Jimmy and I had a brother/sister afternoon yesterday and went to see the movie Quarantine. Besides it being a horror film we also went to the Gateway theaters because Jimmy is in the commercial they are showing there for Nightmare on 13th. So if you want to see a pissed off, shirtless, and painted gold Jimmy talking about how he "supposes he comes from the Amazon and that he likes to eat hearts because they have alot of protein" there's your chance.

If you like/love horror films--- go and see Quarantine, because it is by far the best zombie film that I have EVER seen. It gets bonus points for the following:
1. Zombie children
2. Being beaten to death with a video camera
3. Walking on a compound fractured leg
4. Making a girl cry in the theater
5. Unexpected crunching noises
And even wins bonus points for making Jimmy freak out a little.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Match Experiment

You can always tell when I have a bunch of stuff going on in my life because I blog less... and while I can't divulge everything at the moment, be assured that all in good time some crazy cool shit is going to be revealed. In the meantime I am gonna talk about this week's new experiment: me signing up on

How did this happen in the first place? It was a combination of a free $60 in my account and the prodings of dear Stephanie. We should probably give her all of the credit or blame for what happens in all of this. :)

Now, years and years ago I just to chat with lots of random strangers in AOL chatrooms, and I got a couple of dates from it....mostly disasters and mostly situations where I had to talk my way out of some uncomfortable situations in order to keep my virginity intact. I have been really avoiding signing up for a service because of this bad history. But I am very different now than I was then. I am more confident and comfortable with myself and my body.... and well that virginity thing, that's a done issue as well.

So...well....its weird trying to "advertise" yourself. I wrote a bunch of oddly witty (at least I hope that it appears to be that way) responses to strange questions. And of course, it was really discouraging at first to look through people's profiles to see what type of woman they were looking for....I'm not going to fit into the "slender" or "athletic" types that everyone seems to be looking for.

And then, perhaps the hardest part is that they want you list what you are looking for.... which really reflects badly on what I am used to. So while I wanted to write that I am looking for as "a man who has his own place so that he doesn't need to live and mooch off of me. That has a job so that I don't have to pay for him everywhere we go. Someone who isn't a con man, someone who isn't like my soon to be ex husband". I think that we all agree that this isn't going to look good in a personal ad. What I settled with was this:
"With the exception of believing that Thursdays might be karmically against me, I'd say that I was a pretty low key girl looking for a drama free relationship. I am looking for someone I can laugh with, and if they are a bit of a chubby-chaser then all would be great too!.
And honestly, what I want is a guy that I can hang with and have fun with and be wild with behind the scenes... someone who isn't looking for forever, but is content for right now and open to possibilities."

They want you to "flirt" online with other matches....this is done by "winking" at people who you are interested in. I've been on this system for 3 days and I have winked at 14 people. I think that makes me a serial winker. Then if someone likes what they see they can wink back or send you an email. So far I have had contact with two people email-wise (strangely enough both named Rob). One of them I have had quite extensive chat conversations with...and while that started as a occasion to get to know someone the conversation went into the subject of porn. Those who know me well know that this is a subject that I can talk on and on about. While he was thinking that I was getting off on the topic, I wasn't. I can find titillation anywhere..... what I am looking for is beyond that.

All is not hopeless, I have another promising email situation developing, and you can be sure that when something happens, I'll post it here.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Probably shouldn't have looked

Found out today about a website that list public salaries for various employers in Utah. I probably shouldn't have looked....because then I wouldn't have found out that I am the lowest paid person in my office. Perhaps I should just cut down my productivity? Although I am not sure if that is possible for me to do anyway.

Friday, October 03, 2008

To Buy the Phone or Not Buy the Phone?...

.....That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler to in the mind to suffer the pangs of not having that shiny new phone or use the money to buy that dress I need for November? To dress, to tweet; no more, and by a tweet to say everything I think in less than 140 characters to all of my followers, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To dress, to tweet; to tweet, perchance to blog: ay, there's the rub.

so what should I do? The money is just begging to be spent. Buy the beautiful new phone and get the dress later in the month, or get the dress now and the phone later? Ahh! the choices!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

The Phrase of the Day: So Sue Me

Talked to the ol' bankruptcy lawyer of a couple years back about the denied fraud claim of Mr.3's student loan.....and I'm not liable. And the loan company can come after me for it, but they have to prove that I signed. I requested copies of this stuff ages ago from them and they won't send it to me... so the basically, in order for me to have to pay on his loans they would have to get a lawyer and sue me.

sue me.

The Wrong Way to Find More Time on Your Hands

It's 2:45 am.
And I am up blogging, not out of the desire to write but because I don't know what else I can do in my current state of agony....cause sleep is just not going to happen. Word of advice, if you are at Applebee's and you decide to try something new, do not and I really mean DO NOT try their Frito Chili Cheeseburger. Not only is it a mediocre tasting burger but it will give you the worst gas of your life. The kind of gas that makes you wish that you were having the heart attack instead and is completely immune to whatever treatment you throw at it.

So now seems as good as a time as any to write about the divorce hearing that I had today...well I guess now it was yesterday. I had two scenarios in mind: best case, that the judge would feel really sorry for me, decide that I had done enough in order to summon Mr.3, and let me file the paperwork; and worst case, I was going to have to publish the summons in a national newspaper for four weeks. The ruling was somewhere in-between. She will let the summons on the blog count for partial notification and then I have to put an ad in a local cheapie paper for 3 weeks. Of course the cost of the "least expensive" option is still going to be $130 that I will have to pre-pay. So we are looking at a mid-November for the divorce to be finalized...that is if we don't run into any more "hiccups" in the process.

I did cry in the courtroom, and I shook the whole time I as up at the podium. But I got the story out and now more of the Mr.3 saga is part of the court record. In fact after the judge left the chambers the bailiff came up to me to ask some questions about the case. It was sorta touching to see how upset he was that no one has been able to find Mr.3 to bring him to court.

The subject of Mr.3 being in jail has been a frequent one talked about in my house this week. Apparently, in one of the last times that my Dad had some one on one time with Mr.3, he talked about his experiences in jail in the Fall of 2006. My Dad said that it might have been the only genuine thing that he ever talked about. I still have all the letters that he wrote while in jail, and he wrote at length on how he hated incarceration. No matter how much we would all like him to answer for his wrongs, I think that the absolute last thing that Mr.3 would do would be to let himself me caught and taken in.

I must say that I find it really odd to be talking about Mr.3's discomfort with jail while dealing with my own personal discomfort with this gas. Seriously, I hurt all over.... and I am so tired. That is what is worse, I'm tired and in too much pain to sleep.

I'm gonna go and try to continue to burp and fart until this agony is over....I hope that everyone else can manage to get an extra 15-20 minutes of sleep so that they can give it to me later.