Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Pee and Coffee

But not in that order.

Last night I went out to coffee with Steph. She and her husband have been having problems, and it was nice to talk. I was hoping that I would be some sort of solace for her, but I think that I was crap at it...I felt like I talked a lot about myself last night and didn't focus enough on her. But I am going to try to spend more time with her.

While I throughly enjoyed the coffee that I did have, my stomach was agrueing with me later that night. I felt kinda sick when I went to bed, but I didn't upchuck or anything.

At about 3:30 Mr.3 got up to go to the restroom, and I thought that it sounded like a good idea so I did the same when he got back to bed. Now I remember thinking to myself that I thought that I had heard him flush the toilet, and thought it was odd that there looked like there was pee still in there. But I went anyway, and then flushed...only to have all of the pee water rush all over my feet. In panic mode I start to dismantle the top of the toilet and get the water to stop, but by then there is pee all over the floor (soaking the bathmat) and the puddle was beginning to rush towards the carpet.

Now amatuer plumbing at any time of night is not fun, but since Mr.3 and I sleep naked this added an extra gross factor to it all. We haven't been able to find a plunger in the house and Mr.3 was using some sort of coathanger apparatus which wasn't working very well...he finally got dressed to go and search in the garage for one...and he did find one, which helped a lot. Meanwhile, I am mopping the pee off the floor, and trying to get all of the pee out of the bathmat in the shower by running water through it. Then there was this horrifying run with the wet bathmat down the hall to the washing machine, at which point I was just covered with pee water. the nausous level was extremely high at this point.

To some extent I was really proud of myself, because I wanted to freak out because I was covered with pee, I wanted to freak out about cleaning up the floor and the carpet, I wanted to yell and blame someone, anyone for the whole situation...but I didn't. I kept it all in, I didn't yell, we didn't fight (and it would have been easy to do so), I didn't freak or throw up (a huge feat in itself)...I did cry a little after everything was cleaned up and we were back in bed, but only a little...and I don't think Mr.3 noticed...he might have, but he did the right thing by not mentioning it. I don't want to be reminded that I am emotional and crying. He did everything right.

After the bathroom was cleaned up (the pee rags in a garbage bag and out of the room, the floor disinfested and cleaned) it was time to clean me. I took a very hot shower and washed with 3 different soaps...and even though I knew that I was clean, I still felt gross and as if I was going to throw up.

Neither of us managed to sleep but between the 4:30 time I got to bed and the 6am alarm clock. I am really out of sorts today, and I still feel sick. I dont' think that it is from this mornings events or the lack of sleep, but due to the amount of stress that I am feeling from school and my stomach from last night.

School wise, we are in the last week until classes end, and I can feel myself shutting down. Not knowing the exact date of when my paper is due, is not helping the situation, because if I knew I would feel like I could plan better, which I really need to do, especially as we and the rest of my wacky family are going to Moab this weekend and I know that I won't get any homework done, nor do I want to. A little rest before the storm should be good for both Mr.3 and I.

And of course...when something interesting happens to you, you tell your friends in the office, which unfortuatley means that someone will this case the bug...who has been dropping "I smell urine, do you smell urine" jokes all afternoon. If I wasn't so tired I would smack the smirk off of her face...the urine would still smell better than the perfume she uses to cover up the alcohol when she has her "luncheons".

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The height of laziness

I wasn't going to blog about this, but since I have 3 examples of the bug's lazy behavior that have happened in less than 12 hours, I just had to list them.

1. Yesterday while I was at Linguistics class, the bug came and found Mr.3 and asked for help....with removing the spider webs from an office that one of the professors had asked her to do. These spider webs weren't high or out of her reach, just something that she didn't want to do. Now I have to go and talk to her about it. Mr.3 doesn't work there and she has no place asking him to do her work. She has in the past gotten him out of the computer lab to change the water in the cooler, even though I was sitting at my desk and capable of doing it.

2. She comes in this morning wanting to know if we have a class set up and if it isn't she wanted the withheld numbers for it. She keeps ALL of the withheld numbers. Not only was the course set up, but she had already had all of the numbers she needed. So instead of looking in her own office for the information that she needed, she walked all the way down the hall to ask me, just so she could dictate to someone. Good thing that I made a copy of those numbers because she probably has lost them.

3. She also came to me today (a separate trip mind you) to ask for a student's email...SHE KEEPS ALL OF THE STUDENT RECORDS AND THEIR INFO!!! The extra annoying thing was that the student she asked for the information for was the same kid who was taken ill after model arab league...the same kid that she threw a fit about in Kate's office because she felt that we were holding back information on his condition to her. Her reasoning was that he "was her student" and that she is entitled to know everything. Well I am sorry but if you can't even handle the records that you are paid to handle...are you entitled to the information?

Additionally, she keeps coming in here asking if I have seen this professor or the other, which is fine, but when she comes in every 5 minutes for the last hour, it starts to grate on the nerves.

Yesterday there was an article slamming the academic advisors at the university and how bad they are at their jobs. She saw it and told me later that she hoped no one would write about her because in the first couple of months she didn't know her job very well...hate to burst her bubble...but she still doesn't.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Sun Maid Raisins advocating masturbation

Sometimes I really wish that I had the creativity to make stuff up, but the real world is so much more amusing.

On every box of SunMaid raisins is a little saying on the flap--a little like a fortune cookie-- and on my box today was the following (including the italics):

Be yourself;
nobody does you better.

Ok, so maybe I am the only one who sees it. But the second I read it, I immediately started to sing "Nobody does it better" from the James Bond Movie, and one train of thought leading to the other....

the sad thing is that I had to look up masturbation to make sure that I was spelling it correctly, you would think that I would know how to spell that.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Exciting rocket weekend

Yesterday was a rocket weekend. It was Mr.3's first time and of course, on his first time something awful had to Dad suggested that he might be a jink, but more to the point the fat bastard in the green shirt was his own jink.

Model Rocket engines are explosives, and they range in lettering from A-N. A's are the smallest engines, B have twice the power of an A, C have twice the power of a B and so on and so forth. Well obviously with this amount of power buildup you have to have some form of checks on the system, so once you get up to an H, you have to be qualified. My Dad is a level one (he can shoot H's and I's). There are a total of three levels. Once you get up into the third level you are allowed to do experimental rocket engines, and for this I think that more should be done to qualify these guys...a remedial phyisics class might be a good start. So yesterday this fat green shirted guy had 4 launches, out of those 4, 3 misfired in some ways. 2 of those misfires were with using experimental liguid fuel, and one of those misfires almost killed someone.

With this particular rocket, it had a liguid gas tank, so they had to wait for it to fill and then it would go off. You could tell when the rocket was ready to launch because he would begin waddling very fast away from it. So the rocket goes off, between 200 and 500 feet up, the nosecone explodes off and the rest of the rocket begins to barrel towards the ground like it's a projectile missle, towards the cars. Specifically towards my car, when it got close I closed my eyes, so I didn't see it land, but I definitely saw the aftermath. It didn't hit my car, but the one next to it, a suburban, and it hit straight through the windshield into the driver's side window. Once everyone got past the "whoa" factor of it, they went to the "oh shit" factor as there were people in the car, in the front seat. The boy sitting in the front seat, which the rocket went through, was luckily turned to the side playing on a game boy. If he had been sitting normally, the rocket would have taken off his leg. The dash board was ripped off, the carframe was bent because of the shock, and they had to disengage all of the electronics (that still worked) in the engine as the stupid rocket still had some of the hydrogen fuel in it.

Unfortuately, this was the one time that I didn't bring my digital camera, but when I get the photos from Mr.3 or my mom, I will post them. The suburban was completely totalled. Thank goodness that it didn't hit my car, as it would have impaled it to the ground. Luckily the boy and his mother who were in the front seat were all right but it could have been much worse.

The fat bastard did do the right thing in the end as he gave the rocket to the family. That is only fair, you destroy a car with a rocket, the owner of that car should get to keep it. Of course, this didn't dissauge the guy from trying another rocket with the experimental fuel...this one went up a 100 feet, misfired, took a sharp right turn, again heading towards the cars but went past them towards the highway. Somewhere between the cars and the road it exploded and no one was hurt and thankfully no more property damage.

The family whose car was destroyed were pretty cool about the whole thing. The father had quite the time explaining to his insurance agent that a six foot rocket had destroyed his car, but there are plenty of pictures and video of the incident to back him up. The Model Rocketry Club HAD prided themselves on not having any accidents...well I guess this messes up their perfect record didn't it?

Friday, April 15, 2005

Gaying up Elmo

So, oddly enough, there were several stories about Sesame Street in today’s news.

Item #1: Elmo in Japan is all about “emotions”. Wasn’t tickle me Elmo touchy feely enough? Apparently, since literacy rates in Japan are at 100%, they decided that Elmo needs to teach little Japanese children how to cry. Which I guess is good since they have a habit of being emotionally remote with all of the Japanimation stuff that they watch. They have a whole generation of children killing children , I doubt that making them learn to cry is going to be that much of a preventative measure...a lot more would need to be done.

Item #2: The above article mentions the great strides that the Sesame Street in the Palestinian/Israeli areas have been making. I find it odd that they sort of forgot to mention the latest upcry on the segment recently where a little muppet character was saying that he wanted to kill the Israeli’s with an AK-47. I am still trying to find the clip for you, but that is good family fun, I tell you.

Item #3: I have been hearing about this for a while, but it sickens me just the same. They are going to make the cookie monster push healthier foods. Come on! He is the COOKIE MONSTER! He eats cookies uncontrollably, that is his function. I don’t care that the obesity rates for children are increasing, it is probably because they are watching too much television programming that is educational in nature. When I was little, I went outside to play because I didn’t want to watch the soap operas with my Mom when all of the educational children’s programming was over. But now with 24-hour cartoon networks—which I personally love—kids don’t have the impetus to leave the couch and it doesn’t sound like parents are making them. It is the parent’s fault, why are they punishing the cookie monster? Does this mean that next they are going to try to get Oscar the Grouch a respectable job and shower because he lives in the garbage like a bum?

And lastly, but not in the news, why is Sesame Street on at midnight on Sundays on the BYU run PBS station? Can’t they just run more re-runs of Laurence Welk or Perry Mason to make up the space…that is unless they are trying to cater to the druggie crowd who would be fascinated by the show at that time of night.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

So now, I am a bathroom attendent

The bug came in a few minutes ago to let me know that the third stall in from the left is without toilet paper. This is definitely not my job.

In other news, a couple of professors have brought in entire books that they would like copied. I have one left, but still 240 pages left to go. And the book was originally typed on onion paper and the ink keeps staining my fingers. So in order to stave off boredom and not get too dirty, I have been copying for a half hour, then taking a break to answer email or in this case blog. I think that I will be able to get it finished by today.

Oddly enough it really feels like Friday.

Best quote of the day from a prof. "Do you have any pasties, I mean post it thingys?"

Ants, like terrorists, are everywhere.

Recently at the office we have developed an ant problem, a problem that marches from down the hall and around the corner.

Last week we, scratch that, I called facilities and maintainance to come down and stop them. At first they tried to tell me that it was a "department matter" and that we had to handle it on our own. They pull the "department matter" all the time on us, mice I can sort of understand, ants on the otherhand, especially when a trail of them can be followed through multiple department spaces is not a department matter but a building. So the head of custodial, Alex--a really nice guy, came down and vaccumed up the ants (they make a funny little thwack sound when they hit the hose) and mopped a solution of amonia to throw them off of there own scent. I guess that worked for only a couple of days because yesterday they were back. Now I didn't see them, but the bug did, and was freaking out. But freaking out in that way that you know she will never handle it on her own because one: she's too lazy to, two: she's too lazy to, three: if she did something productive for once the earth would implode in on itself, four: it gives an opportunity to attempt to boss someone around-mainly me-which she lives for, and lastly five: she's too lazy to. So I went out an bought a can of Raid.

this morning Alex came back, having seen them in the hallway, and vacuumed them up (thwack, thwack, thwack again) and then I sprayed after. Thank heavens that I got the unscented type, because otherwise I would be really dying, as it is all the doors are open and I am wishing that I had a fan. I am hoping that I will not have to keep on the ant prowl, but I suspect that there is a huge colony in the courtyard outside and that they are infiltrating the building through the foundation.

I sent out an email to everyone in the center warning them about the ants. Mr. 3 said that the "stay vigilant" email sounded like a Tom Ridge ad, but it was an oppurtunity to write the word "doom" in an office email in a context that would not raise any eyebrows. Which any day that you can legitmately do that, it a good day.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Staff Cafe

Every month a different department in the Huamnities college puts on this thing called "Staff Cafe" where they bring treats/breakfast for all of the office staff of the various departments. This month was our turn, and Kate put me in charge before I left for Nationals. I sent out an email asking for ideas, and got little. Last Friday, however, as I am working on a menu and the "activity" that somehow seems required, the bug calls me and begins to tell me all of this stuff she was getting ready for Staff Cafe to hold a Persian New Year thing. At that time I told her that "as the organizer this is news to me." Which promptly spawned an "oh." from her and I thought that was that. I told her that I appreciated her idea, but to hold off on doing anything until Monday when I will have decided what we were going to do.

Monday comes, and I get this great idea from my Mom. And basically it was a dress-up type of thing with a traditional middle eastern breakfast. It worked really well, watching Rebecca running around in my abiya was very amusing, and everyone liked the food. However, back to Monday, the bug came up to me and told me how she was contiueing to work on the Persian Neu Roz thingy. At that point I flat out told her that I didn't like the idea and we weren't going to do it. I did justify myself, I told her that if we had Persian new year that I would want to do Kurdish new year, and then I would want to research other new year's celebrations so that we wouldn't leave anyone out and that would make it too big. She was angry and stomped off in a huff. She later told Kate that she felt she had "stepped on my toes", really...rocket surgeon that one.

But as today was such a wonderful sucess, there is an added aura of accomplishment of letting the bug know that we/ I can handle things just fine without her interfereing.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

mama quacking orders Posted by Hello

being herded by mama Posted by Hello

coming out from their hiding places Posted by Hello


Wow, last one for today and I think that I am caught up.

The ponds in the condo complex that I live in have now gotten BABY DUCKS!! and they are the cutest things in the world to watch. I am going to post a few pictures of them so you can goosh over them too.

Baby talking bugs

On Friday I bought bagels for the office. The bug comes in, late, as usual, and sees me eating a bagel. At which she replies "so ewe got a widdle bagel?" I guess that I haven't noticed it, but she baby talks to me all the time. She even calls me (give me a second, my stomach just lerched) "debbydo" (shudder, ugh). She was excited when I told her that there was some for all in the break room, but I really really resent the fact that if I eat anything at my desk (and seeing that to make up for classes the majority of my lunched are at my desk) that I should be made to feel guilty that I am not "sharing" with her. I am not in fucking kindergarten and thankfully she is not my mom.

Another thing that she did on Friday, besides not understanding that we do not have the authority to kick people out of the computer lab, was that she wanted to know if my computer had a floppy disk. Rather than listening to me, she comes BEHIND my desk (the tower is at my feet) to check. Not once but twice....hello personal space.

But apparently the husband is back again and won't talk to her to let her know if they are going to get any money from this "deal" that he has been working on for is good to know that her husband is punishing her with his presence. There is justice.

Orange Pee Stains

There is a lot to catch up on since I haven't blogged in 2 weeks.

A fallout that resulted from National MAL is that one of our delegates became sick, really sick. Let's refer to him as "L". Anyway "L" doesn't fly very well. On the way to DC I held his hand to calm him down. And he has a history of becoming really ill on flights, so ill once that they had to do an emergency laid. Well on the way back he was taken ill on his layover in Detroit with a 104 fever, I am not sure of the details surrounding it, but somehow he was taken to the emergency room in Detroit.

It took a few days to find out what he finally had (and consequently a lot of phone calls with the DC dept. of public health, the Detroit dept. of public health and the Utah dept. of public health--yes, besides being team mom, I also got to be the public health coordinator). His disnogisis was (and I will spell it wrong) meningicoccle meninigitsis. We still don't know if he is going to pull out of it, but he has survived some of the basis time-lines that doctors didn't think that he would pass, so it is looking up.

Now, here's the rub, with a contagious diease such as this, making sure that everyone who needs to know about it know and those that don't (like the press) don't is a very difficult job. The Chrony (the school paper) picked up on the rumors and published them (even without being able to verify their facts). They had him with the wrong dianogsis, the wrong hospital...they even made up quotes from the Dean of Students who had told them "no comment"...he is a little mad. The papers have picked it up as well as some of the local stations now, all using the same information from the Chrony. And all I want to do is write a letter to the editor (who incidently was the one who wrote the article in the first place) condemning them for disgraceful reporting. Kate won't let me, but that doesn't supress the desire to do so.

So most of the team got put on preventative antibiotics, which were kinda fun..they turned all secretions orange...pee, tears, name it. They told people that if they wore contacts that they should not wear them for a while as the antibiotics would stain them orange. So it was kinda neat...but the really good thing is that both Mr.3 and I are safe. When I hear more about "L" I'll let you know.

MAL Nationals

So the last week of March/first of April I was in DC for the National Model Arab League Competition. The short version of the story was that we won, the long...we won big time! 3 Outstanding delegation individual awards, 1 honorable mention delegation award, and overall Outstanding Delegation award for the school on a whole. If I hadn't been so caught up in the politics of what was going on I would have been crying for my babies.

The politics this year were horrible. The southeast regional was 2 weeks prior and apparently it was hell, so everyone who had gone to that one came to this one hostile, and it infected the whole model.

As Chief of Staff I got the bums rush so to speak. When they introduced the "senior secretariat" I was never mentioned, which meant that a lot of people didn't know that there was someone legitimately in charge of the copy room. The copy machine itself was incredibily slow, as it wasn't really a copy machine but one of those copy, print and scan things. It was very high quality, but not meant to handle the volume of copies that it needed to. I was also in charge of resolution packets, which under normal circumstances is alright, but the National council took away my Vice-Chairs, leaving me to format all of the resolutions and admendments. I managed to keep up until Friday till almost 4pm (please note that the model sessions ended that day at 5pm and that was when everyone was supposed to help me put packets together) and of course, every council decided that they needed to railroad as many resolutions as possible into that last hour. At 5pm it hit me that I wasn't going to be ready and I cracked, discretely excusing myself to cry in one of the vacant council rooms. Part of the problem was that I was exhausted, hadn't eaten enough, etc. The day prior I worked with no lunch/dinner breaks etc from 9:30 am to 2:00 am, and starting again on that Friday morning at 8:30 working still with no breaks until almost 8:30 that night.

One thing that I did enjoy was that Mr. 3 and I spared no expense for whatever we had time to do. There were several nights just hanging out in the Watergate Lobby drinking heavily. It was expensive (over $100 in alcohol alone) but worth it.

While I still feel sick at all of the politics that happened (and I am only mentioning a faction of the crap that happened) I am optimistic for next year. And I was named as Assistant Secretary General for Nationals. A lot of the things that I had issues with this year will be changed, I guarentee that.