Friday, January 20, 2012

Waxing poeticially about the moon...and diarrhea

What a week. Seriously. While I had great intentions of writing about my United Nations Association of Utah meeting on Tuesday, and my Salt Lake Council on Foreign Relations meeting on Wednesday, all of my insights went away when I hit my head yesterday morning. I was rushing to get ready for work (I was running late to a meeting) when one of my dining room chairs made a deliberate attempt on my life. I saw stars but as I was late and not bleeding, I still went to work. This is how we know that one day I will die at work....I'll do something stupid and instead of stopping like any other normal human...I'll just continue on until I drop.

Today however, common sense prevailed and I took a sick day. And while I felt much better, there was still a level of strange silliness that governed all that I did. I tried to put together my new desk and if my brother hadn't come over to help me....I still might be trying to put it together.... because, yes, my dexterity was that badly affected by my concussing myself. But the desk is put together and I am currently enjoying a desk situation that makes me want to write....even if it is pure drivel. Also, my desk is now angled in such a way where I can still spy on my neighbors across in the tenement and they really can't see much of me. The new desk also means that my backup hard drive can actually be plugged in and next to my computer for once. So for nostalgia's sake, Jimmy and I looked at the old files and I came across some golden nuggets of writings from me in a file called "Thoughts". They are a collection of short pieces that I wrote in 2002.....just before and shortly after I started blogging. Just like any illicit and vocal reading of a required a dramatic reading. The results? I come across as a whiny, impatient, privileged bitch. It. was. awesome. And probably, not much about me has changed....except now I have a better knowledge of myself and I know proper semi-colon usage.

For your reading pleasure, I am going to share two pieces with you. Feel free to laugh at my weirdness, because it had Jimmy and I rolling. This first one was written a couple of months before I started this blog:

April 10, 2002

So I meant to write the other day, but well, I acted like I normally do. On Monday I went to the Laundromat to do my smelly travel laundry. So after I had stuck my first load of clothes in the dryer, I was sitting down reading TIME magazine. When I heard that all too familiar and all too traumatizing sound: the crunch of a car accident. Oh damn, I hate this—I start to write and then the words go too fast in my head and all of the cool things that I had to say about the accident—you know, the deep reflections on how the airbag will smoke after it deflates, and the blood on the young guy who hit the elderly couple’s car forehead, drip drip dripping down. And how I wanted to go and take a rag to his forehead—because I felt that I could have been useful, but decided against it. He had a cell phone, he could call for help, and he did. There was one cool guy who had pulled over to the side of the road and started to direct traffic. He didn’t have too, but he did even until after the police and the fire department had arrived.

Today I am allergy sick—I sound awful, I feel just as bad. I have a ton of crap to do too. It sucks. But I like making list, because I like the satisfaction of being able to cross this off on them.

Oh, my love for humanity truly shines through there doesn't it? Meh. The guy did have a cell phone to call for help.

The second one I am going to share with you, I wrote on a day where I actually did a blog posting. Read the first one and then question why I didn't post this one's definitely more fun...

June 26, 2002

Today our representative told us that his name is “tombul” when he tried to explain what it meant, he said “like Debbie”. It means “plump”.

I like that word, I like the sound of it, how it just rolls off of your tongue and then bounces. Like a grape on a diving board. Plump.

I got my luggage today from Diyarbakir. The moon was so beautiful. It was low on the horizon but bright and soaked in a deep orange. It seemed to hover, not like it was a fixture in the sky, but more of a stand-in, hoping that people wouldn’t notice that the real one was missing.

I am afraid that I might have diarrhea. That would suck.

And there you go.... if you know anyone else who can wax poeticially about the moon and then in two hits of the return button on the keyboard type about their bowel problems, I want to meet them. They could be my soul mate.

Monday, January 16, 2012

2012 Schemey-Type Thingamajigs

To start off....let's just pretend that I have been blogging the whole time and haven't been on hiatus for almost 3 months. However, if you are feeling hurt, let me know and I will connect you with this guy who I talked to on the phone once....then left for a business trip for a week....and when I contacted him apologizing for being non-communicative for a week accused me of a multitude of things including "leaving him on the porch and expecting to him to wait for me"; of "going along and having my fun"; and of finding someone else while I was gone, using them up, deciding that I didn't like them, and coming back to him as the fall back guy.'s as crazy as it sounds. But if you are truly angry at me for not writing, I believe that this guy will be willing to hold the presidency of the "I suck" club.

Now on to other matters.....
It's the new year and of course this means a whole new round of yearly goals and harebrained schemes. I reviewed last year's resolutions, and I performed dismally. Out of the five resolutions I had: I completed one, had three that were unmeasurable, and sadly did not figure out a way to say "mea culpa" to someone in a snarky and sarcastic tone and have that person understand what I mean. Dismal indeed.

So what to do with this year? Quite the conundrum that. Let's start with the measurable:

Yearly Goal One: Pay off my private student loan. Last year's plan to lose some financial weight worked really well as I managed to secure a completely awesome student loan payment plan in which if I work full time for a non-profit for 10 years they write off my balance. So now that my gargantuan student loan debt is now relegated to almost utility payment regularity, I should get rid of my much smaller private loan that could not be put into the awesome payment plan.

Yearly Goal Two: To be kissed romantically. I signed up for a dating site, which hasn't been very successful---as the story above relates.... but I decided that I might as well try to date. I just have to figure out a way to date in which I can have a successful long-term relationship. And while this may be a weird place to put it....for those of you who are curious, baby plans are put off until I figure out a way to pay for day care. And for those who think that I am looking for someone to help pay for the day care with me....please note that my goal is only to be kissed at the moment.

Yearly Goal Three: Work on finishing all of those books that I have started. The pile around my bed keeps threatening to fall on me in the night, trapping me indefinitely.

Yearly Goal Four: If I am not going to celebrate on a paid holiday, at least spend some time learning about the holiday. Case in point, today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day and I went shopping at the mall. I am such a horrible, cliche American sometimes! So to purge a little I watched a documentary on MLK today....and learned something....but I should learn more. So I am going to go a little deeper and research some more topics related to Black History Month.

Yearly Goal Five: Master freetime at home. I have a fairly active social life, but that is only due to some amazing scheduling skills that I have developed. But when it comes to unplanned time at home, I have a tendency to pace my house feeling like I should be working. So I must learn to live the axiom "the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time". Hopefully this will mean more blogging, some crafty-type things that I would like to do, and possibly....just doing something that is completely frivolous like painting my toenails.

I think that is all I got. However this year's harebrained scheme has yet to be decided upon. Normally those have to do with something physical.....and I won't finish with last year's scheme (becoming a yoga teacher) until June. Although I am toying with fencing. Let me know if you have any ideas.