Thursday, February 09, 2012

Farewell Sturdy Army Bag of Awesomeness

Yes, I write today in mourning for my beloved army bag purse. After 6 years, 4 continents, and countless "how much stuff can that bag hold?" purse is dead. I once destroyed a hundred-dollar leather bag in a month.....this five-dollar army surplus bag took 6 glorious years to die. I am quite sad about this.

Instead of shopping for another bag....a cringe-worthy activity in itself....I am reusing a bag that I apparently used last in 2003. How do I know the year? Because I am notorious for changing bags and never fully cleaning it out when I change to a new one. The end result is that there are little time capsules inside these bags which I shove into a storage bin. This one had an old paystub in it....and a beautiful gem of epicness.

My first dinner party in my first apartment was a grand affair. It was a fancy dress party in which we all sat on my floor (no chairs really) and played Clue. Best. Party. Ever. And it was co-hosted by the loverly Libby. We gave out handwritten invitations and everyone was given a royal title. So the beautiful gem of epicness? The invitation draft and the guest list were in the bag! So I will share the guest list and the invite here:

The List:
Lady Tara of the Earldom of Dehart
Czarina Ann and her Consort Erik
Emperor Paulus Caesar and Laura Queen of the Nile
Lord Casey and Lady Rebekiah of the House of Phelps
Infanta Rebecca of Spain
Ammon Khan- Most Glorious Conqueror of Brazil
Baron Drew and Baroness Emily
Sir Nick
Duchness Kathryn of Murdock and her companion Duke WhatshisnameIforget
Sultana Deborah and her Concubine Libby
Principessa Lacy

The Invite-
You are cordially invited to an exclusive evening of laughter, tears, inexcusable inebriation, pomposity, pretentiousness, delectable virginal sustenance that will pleasure the most devious of connoisseurs; an evening of unsullied mirth, non-nonsensical gaiety, deplorable revelry, jovial girth, phallic stunts; an evening of stimulating oral tete-a-tetes; an evening with us: Sultana Deborah and her Concubine Libby on Friday November the Twenty-First at Eight in the evening.
Formal dress is required; RSVP requested.

I contend that I'm still hot shit.
Oh yeah

Monday, February 06, 2012

The Update on the Mr.3 Situation

If you are a Facebook friend or read my Twitter feed you will, no doubt, have noticed that my ex.husband aka Mr. 3 aka the-man-of-a-thousand-aliases has been arrested.

As there is an open investigation pending I can not give out many details. I can tell you that he is currently incarcerated under multiple fraud charges in Virginia. And that after Virginia is done with him Maryland will take him from there. How he was arrested will also have to be something that I can not disclose at this time for the safety and privacy of the multiple victims involved.

The real meaty part of this post, however, is how I reacted to this news. Its funny how often people ask "well what are you going to do if you ever see him again?" There really isn't an answer because you are going to react however you react in the moment, it is not predictable at all. At first I was elated and then it sunk in.....I felt decidedly unsafe. I had some hysterics. And if I wasn't employed in the place that I am now, and had the tools that I do now to handle trauma, the end results of this would be very different indeed. Luckily, I work with a bunch of trained crisis counselors....and my family and friends were able to give me the space that I needed to process and work through my feelings on this. It is very easy to get sucked into this whole...thing...that has happened. And now I can tell you that I am on the other side of it. So that when I opened my mail last Friday to find a jail letter from Mr.3, I wasn't emotional about it at all. There were 3 letters: one to me, to my lil bro, and to my Mom. The letters are apologetic in a general sense, with claims that he has reconnected to his faith, and asking for forgiveness. Even with all the references he made to my blog in these letters, he failed to remember that I had offered him forgiveness ages ago. My Dad's response to these letters was very short and carefully chosen in the way that only my Dad can be: "two words: bull shit".

So where does this leave things? Pretty much the same as they were before except that now I for sure know where he is. Last time he was in jail, not all of his activities were known, and now we are more organized. And also.....I should really get back to writing this book. It looks like there really might be an ending now.