Thursday, April 30, 2009


Since my parents moved from Price I've had the family piano in the front room of my apartment. It is an absolutely beautiful piece of furniture that pretty much just collects dust because I can't play the thing worth as damn.


I finally got my act together and called a teacher. I hope to begin lessons on May 11th (after payday--how sad is that, that I have to wait for a payday for a $20 piano lesson).

Here's to learning how to play piano with two hands at the same time! Whoo! Only took me like 17 years to get back to taking lessons....may I have more patience this time with it.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Waxing Philosophical on the Subject of Soulmates

Here's another philosophical post for you to groan over. Ever since I've finished my comps that "fog" (I mentioned earlier) is continuing to lift and lift and lift and even though the fog should have stopped it seems to keep lifting. I guess that I am lifting through many levels of clarity at the moment. Which makes since....the whole Masters thing was tainted with the whole Mr.3 thing and in completing one I had to deal with certain parts of the other.

When I had that palm reading thing-a-majig in December, the lady doing the reading had mentioned that people had many soulmates that they came across in their lives. Now, it is truth acknowledged between my best friend Libby and I that we are soulmates. At one point, I felt the same way about Mr.3 and after he hurt me so badly I changed my thinking on this......until I read the following definition of soulmate in the book "Eat, Pray, Love":

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. ........ [Mr.3]'s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart you ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over."

If you go by that definition of soul mate, Mr.3 was one of the ones that I have met in my life..... the same still stands for Libby. In any case, it is just another example of why it isn't crazy at all that I don't regret the whole Mr.3 saga happening.

Friday, April 24, 2009

"I've Been Told That I'm Emotionally Needy, Do You Want to Go Out With Me?"

I'm copyrighting that and I am going to turn it into a t-shirt.

A few weeks ago I went to a conflict management training and we had to do this exercise where we train ourselves to not be triggered emotionally by being called names. You had to think of the three people who drive you most nuts in the world and write down all the adjectives that describe them. Then with a partner you have them call you that name. Once you're called the name you have to say "sometimes I can be ______, but right now I need to move beyond that so I can handle the issue at hand."

I did this with my co-worker Shari. I called her "dishonest" and all the color drained from her face and then she looked like she had eaten something really tart...then it was my turn.
"Debbie, you are always playing the victim".

My jaw dropped and I resembled something that looks like a fish out of water.

The first inclination is that you want to ask why, then you want to refute the comment and then you just want to win the conversation by proving somehow that you are something completely other than what you were just called. And this is how arguments and conflicts happen and all progress just stops.

We've turned this exercise into an office game....throwing around accusations such as "controlling", "dishonest", and the latest and greatest "emotionally needy". Where did that one come from? .....ah...our favorite ex-husband, Mr.3. There hasn't been an update on Mr.3 for a while and that has been by design. In January, we almost caught him. 10 hours behind sort of deal....and there is another woman to add to the "ex-Mr.3 sorority". She's wonderful and amazing.....and even though Mr.3 is a horrible man he has managed to find some pretty damn cool ladies. I'm not sure if I am going to go into this new chapter on the blog just yet.... but I would like to announce that I've started writing the book. The other day however Mr.3 sent her a painful heartfelt email that is filled with empty promises and also trashes every other woman he has been with. I haven't seen the full email but I've been given the cliff notes in which I'm accused of being emotionally needy and basking in the glow of Mr.3's accomplishments at the MEC.

I admit that I had the' fish on dry-land moment', then I wanted to find all the email proof from him that refuted what he said, and then..... I stopped.

I stopped completely.....
and I began to laugh.

Cause it is just like the conflict management class.....he aimed every word to hurt me, to drag me down into a pit of despair, to question myself, to completely throw me off track.

Its failed... and I'm gonna make the t-shirt to prove it.

Monday, April 13, 2009

No More New Face of Sexy

Why? You may ask.

Cause the damn thing is made of fricking latex!

This is not on the packaging or instructions anywhere.

Yesterday I just thought that my teeth were hurting because I was eating a bunch of sugary candy and I haven't had much candy in a while. But last night, as I had the guard on (which I was starting to like) it kept sticking strangely to my gums and my month was producing a HUGE amount of saliva.....and then the burning set in and I removed it. My suspicions have been confirmed this morning as my mouth is dry and sore only where the guard came into direct contact with my mouth.

What to do? Not sure really. Now in times past when latex has come into contacts with the girlie parts there wasn't much I could do except try to heal naturally. But I think that I am going to try some salt water rinses and hope that my mouth will heal faster than the parts down below that couldn't exactly have anything put on them.

I'm really annoyed that the box is not marked at all that it contains latex. I am going to call the company this afternoon and complain.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

What happens when someone combines violent zombie mayhem with Jane Austen? It becomes something that I spend money on and buy!

There is alot of Jane Austen fan fiction out there, something that I found out on a date in January where we slowly walked through the shelves of the local Barnes and Nobles: lots of books continuing the various stories (I've only read one book of that sort) and there is a whole Jane Austen detective series.

Back to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies..... basically it is a retelling of the story (word for word in the majority of cases) with some Zombie action thrown in. Although there are some plot tweaks and changes. One of them being the relationship between Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins. While they still marry, you no longer have to pity Ms. Lucas for her choice in husband as she gets bitten by a zombie and eventually she becomes one. Mr. Collins is so heartbroken that he commits suicide. Lydia still runs away with Mr. Wickham, but in the final settlement where they are forced to marry, a condition is that Mr. Darcy gets to beat him senseless and lame in the name of honor. Wickham is so crippled that he continually soils himself, and selfish Lydia has to constantly change the diapers of her "brave" husband. And of course, in the final confrontation between Lady Catherine and Elizabeth over the rumors of Mr. Darcy proposing to her....there is a physical fight. Lady Catherine is very well respected for her fighting skills (she has a guard of personal ninjas you know) and it was because Elizabeth didn't behead Lady Catherine and let her live that Mr. Darcy renewed his affections.

The book was silly to be sure. The blending of Asian martial arts and 1800 England was...well...interesting. It was worth the read for the novelty alone; and the reading guide and artwork with the inaccurate period costumes, highly amusing. Out of all of Jane Austen's novels, I think that this would be definitely the only one that could be adapted to include a zombie menace.....possibly Emma.... but Pride and Prejudice is the only one with characters that lend themselves to really pride themselves on their social standing AND fighting skills. Also, Pride and Prejudice is probably the most recognizable storyline of Jane Austen. I don't think that it is her best book, but it is a good introduction to her writings. Everyone who is a hopeless romantic can appreciate the love/hate and then love relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy. I'm sure that all of us wish that we had her ready wit....cause she never seems to falter in an agruement. She isn't very deep though, then again, her character is only 20 years old...and how deep are we at that age anyway? I perfer Persuasion with its heroine, Anne Elliot. She's a klutz and make mistakes....and develops maturity with time. She's leaned on by so many people, and often unrecognized for what she does. She's older, 29, and has much more depth to her character. I recognize more of myself in her than in Elizabeth Bennett. So while Darcy would be nice, give me Captain Wentworth anyday.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The New Face of Sexy

So I finally caved in (after waking myself up in pain last night from grinding my teeth) and bought a night time mouth guard. Apparently if I sleep with my mouth closed I clench my teeth and jaws....which causes me much pain and muscle spasming. Now if I don't sleep with my mouth closed I don't clench....but then I just drool all over myself. And honestly....who likes to wake up with dried drool all over their face?

The goal is to sleep with my mouth closed and not have my current level of face pain. Hopefully I can teach myself to stop doing this....but until then, this is the new face of "thexy" (sexy with a lisp).

I have a feeling that this is definitely going to increase my dating prospects.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

The Pity Pass

No one knows better then me that I haven't been the best graduate student....I've joked about it plenty of times. I know that my passing of my comps was due more to politics than performance. It already feels pretty hollow. And since I know this, I really don't want to be reminded about it. So the thanks-for-nuttin' award goes to my chair who sent me the following email today:

I am writing this email as Chair of your supervisory committee. This email is to let you know that you have passed the take home portion of your exam. Congratulations!

After considerable discussion and debate, your committee has agreed to also pass you on your lab exam; however, they have asked that I let you know that this was an exceptionally poor exam, and they are very disappointed in your performance.

Translation: Congratulations you have a masters degree, but you still suck.