Friday, January 11, 2008

Beginning to mend some of the pieces

There has been so much to do to pick up the pieces of this whole mess with Mr.3. Little things...details.
So this is what has been done.
1. I've changed the locks. Done this morning, to the tune of $80, but worth it. I wasn't going to do it originally because I never thought that he would come back here anyway. The other day however my neighbor stopped their car in the middle of the driveway to scrap their windows and it sounded like someone was coming into the house and I freaked out...so it was a sign that it needed to be done.

2. I've started making the rounds of calls. Talked to the student loan company that Mr.3 used my info to co-sign me on student loans with. They are going to send out a fraud packet in the mail. Jimmy called a couple of the credit card companies that we know Mr.3 took accounts out in. At one point I think he talked to all of India in the Macy's call center. They are sending him out a bunch of fraud packets in the mail as well. At one point, Jimmy and I were comparing who had the worst hold music for who ever we were calling....I think that he won that contest.

3. I've starting answering the collection calls for Mr.3. One of them today was pretty funny...he had absolutely no idea what to do with the information that I gave them. He also said that he believed the story because no one could have made it up.

4. Reduced expenses-- I've taken Mr.3 off my insurance (about $50 a month), and I have canceled his cell phone (about $35 a month). Which is quite nice. My mom says that I should get rid of the landline to the house, but I think that I am gonna keep it for a while longer as it still has its uses.

The yet to do list is easier...
1. Gather up Mr.3's sentimental items and send to his mother
2. Gather up the rest of his clothes and give to good will (I was going to give away some of his books...but I might just keep them after all).
3. Take down the Christmas tree...but this is only on the list because I was going to do it and was interrupted with the phone call about Mr.3
4 Talk to a lawyer about the divorce (which I am doing today). It looks like I should be able to file the paperwork on my own so that will save some money. You can file for a divorce online, but only if you are filing for a no-fault divorce...and I think that I want the record to show that he was at fault...or if that is even going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things.
5. I need to take Mr.3's microfiche military records (which he left here) and print them off to keep on file and send to Kathy.

And now for the other strange list that I know people want to ask about but are worried for fear that I might break into little pieces...

1. Am I ok? Why yes I am. I haven't cried in four days and it has been three days since I have teared up. Actually, I haven't felt this normal in a while as the depression is ebbing away. My mind is feeling clearer.
2. How angry am I? Not that angry at the moment. Disappointed, yes. But not angry.
3. Do I hate him? No. I don't. I want him to be caught, I want him to face the consequences of his actions. If I hated him I would want him to be send to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison and be repeatedly man-raped...and I definitely don't wish for that to happen. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
4. Would I ever talk to him again? Yes. If he is caught and is sent to prison, I will visit him once and only once. I will be able to confront him finally. Although I had a very vivid dream that I did that the other night and I woke up feeling great. So I will have dream confrontations with him until I can do it in person.
5. Are you going to start dating again and when? As soon as someone asks me out. I feel ready to go out and meet people again. I want to date someone, I want them to ask me out and actually pay for the date. Or even go Dutch on a date, just so long that I don't have to pay for them as well, I'm cool. Now I definitely won't sleep with anyone until after the divorce is filed...because I don't want to be a hypocrite. The idea of starting over sounds great right now.
6. What about the other woman? How do you feel about her? I like her actually. We have alot in common and she is very sweet. We are becoming friends, more or less. While my situation is bad, I think that hers is worse. At least I never had to find out that he was still married. I will write more about her at another time. I will also write more about her life with Mr.3 as it is interesting.
7. You seem to be handling this really well, what gives? This might be the hardest answer for people to digest, I have been heart broken and mourning him ever since he left 11 (yes it is now 11) months ago. It was so hard to be a supportive as I was, I was giving him so much with little or no return. Now that is over. I know now that I have done nothing wrong, and that I am not to blame for any of what has happened. Knowing the truth has been quite liberating. I know that I have alot to offer others in this world...I offered him my help, support, and love...and he didn't want it. His loss and the world's gain.

Any other questions? Not sure, you'll probably have to ask those.

1 comment:

Rob said...

Can I have some of the old books?