Saturday, December 20, 2008

Back on the Market Again

M came over for dinner last night after the two of us seemed to have spent a week trying to get our schedules to sync up. The evening went well overall, even after he told me that he was going to try counseling with the almost ex. So no more happy bedtimes with M. Which is sad, but I'm not devastated. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him, but I hadn't emotionally invested in him yet. When he left I cried a little bit to get it out of my system and I'm now ok. Cause this didn't have anything to do with me....not my body, not my personality, nothing to do with me. This situation is all about M and the almost ex that he isn't over. Now the view of her that he has given me, isn't positive, and even last night when he was talking at length about the situation the positive bits still were tempered with alot of doubt. She actually lied to him about filing the divorce paperwork, which is a serious problem......and in the light of him being embroiled in such a situation it is probably best that we stop being anything other than friends.

Where does this leave me? Well for one thing, I am still friends with M, and if I can't get the phyisical parts of our relationship I demand to be paid in juicy gossip about the wife and counseling. Why? Cause it will make me feel better by rejoicing that I am not in his shoes right now. I know, I'm such a sweetheart shit. This also leaves me back on the market in the dating sense.....and while I hate the first date thing, I'll make it through. I can go back to flirting without guilt.....not that there was much guilt there to begin with.

And yes, I am annoyed that this happened in the sense that I got back on birth control...then again, I was a little paranoid being initimate with condoms alone. So its best that I am doubly protected.....the situation also prompted me to go for a checkup and get a complete workup done. I've got a clean bill of health....which is a good thing too. All in all, this is a positive learning experience for me.

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