We've all had to do it. We've all had to buy something embarrassing at the grocery store. The tampons for the girlfriend..... condoms and a pregnancy test....and don't get me started on the horror of having to buy yeast infection medication.
The problem of having to buy the embarrassing things is that we have to do it when we are having an emergency of sorts, so we aren't able to hide the embarrassing things with the rest of the groceries. But we still try to hide the items by adding in other things to cover it up. I once knew someone who bought a yeast infection kit and those pills for when you get a bladder infection...and tried to mask the purchase with a bag of oranges.
Of course, there is a stealth operation that we go through in order to purchase these things. And to be honest, the self-serve checkouts at the store are only worth going through when you have the embarrassing items. Today I needed something to help aliviate the horrific gas pains that I have been having after almost every single meal for two weeks now. (I am still recovering from the food poisoning incident and hope that one day things will return to normal) For some reason, I find the search for anti-gas meds to be slightly embarrassing....but this might also be because I won't just grab something off the shelf, I have to read the labels of things and then hem-and-haw over if I should pay 20 cents more or not for something. As I went to the aisle today, a man had gone down just before me and was looking at the same general area. He had the embarrassed shopper look to him, so I pretended to look for something else in another aisle and then came back a few seconds later. As he passed me going out of the aisle I saw him desperately trying to shield with this arm the double pack box of enemas that he was purchasing.
What do you buy to mask the double pack box of enemas? Toilet paper? Juice? Chewing gum?
I have no idea. I masked my gas-x purchase with a box of Excedrin and....wait for it......toothpaste. But what is this guy going to do?
Incidentally, as I was looking for photos of a double pack enema box I learned that you can purchase travel enemas......hee hee hee....just imagine the conversation with the airport security screeners....we might have to watch out.....we had the underwear bomber, next it will be the Quick Flush Travel Enema bomber. Hee hee hee
Ok, I'm gonna go away now and giggle with my bad ass 15-year-old-boy juvenile self....hee hee....
Oh! I said ass! Hee ha ha ha heee heee.....ouch the gas pains make it hee hee hee hard to laugh hee hee hee.....oww....