Monday, December 20, 2010

A Sign That Your Work Is Creeping Into Your Personal Life

This last weekend little bro had a Halloween for Christmas party.
I prepared for this party by walking to his house so that I could drink as much as I wanted and still get home in the evening. As normal, I turn into a responsible adult at a party and try to take care of those more smashed than I. One of these folks was my brother's roommate....who turned 21 this weekend.

And as we all know, turning 21 means that you spend that entire weekend completely inebriated.

She had a friend/boyfriend/potential boyfriend/I'mnotexactlysure there. Nice boy, quite cute. She was throwing herself on him, telling him that they should go off to her room, etc., etc. I know that at least one other guy there would have taken her up on the offer (which was creepy), but not her guy. He kept telling her no, kept saying that she was too drunk. Which she was. And after a while of watching him turn her down and still taking care of her in her drunkenness, I walked over to him to thank him.

I thanked him for recognizing that she was too drunk to consent. I thanked him for not taking advantage of her. I thanked him for being a good guy.

First of all, thanking someone at a party for not being a rapist is weird. But this has become my new reality. He was really sweet...and blushed, mumbling something about how he wouldn't want her to be with him like that anyway, and how it wouldn't be any fun.... but let's be honest, what else could he say? I made an already awkward situation a rape prevention moment. Oh well, maybe if we thanked people for not taking advantage of someone, they might step in for someone else later when they see it happening. A bystander education moment? Maybe. Several people at that party learned alot about consent that night from this conversation. So that should be considered a good thing.....or a sign that I live and breathe my work too much. What do you think?

1 comment:

Jason said...

Generally I get annoyed that things have gotten so bad that we have to thank people for being decent and doing the right thing instead of being able to expect a modicum of human decency from everyone. i.e. not raping the drunk girl is the way every man should behave and should not need any more kudos than say, washing ones hands when leaving a rest room. The fact that it isn't the case is just sad and depressing.