At Pride this last June, I met a member from the Kink Community and I have agreed to collaborate with his organization and do some advanced consent and healthy relationships presentations for them.
Like any good researcher, I asked for a book list and I think I've read 7 or 8 different kink-related manuals in the last month or so. And honestly.....if you want a way to spice up some rather boring reading on corporate accounting, interspersing that with reading breaks on how to be an loving dominant will fit that bill.
In prepping for work with this community.... and we're planning some awesome stuff beyond these two trainings being scheduled.... I find that I'm learning alot about myself. And no... it isn't that I'm discovering some new found kinky-side and that I'm gonna start wearing leather and carrying a riding crop around. It has more to do with discovering this capacity that I have to learn about something and have little to no judgement about it. In fact, I've come across some instances where I was very much opposed to a particular act and found the very idea of it degrading and abusive. But after reading an essay about fisting, yes... fisting, I could see the beauty in it. It is not on my list of things to ever do or have done to me....but I could understand the appeal. I keep discovering these moments over and over again.
The Kink community in general has to deal with a ton of criticism and bias due strictly to the general community not understanding what they are about and western society's general tendency to freak out about anyone openly talking about sex. But the people I've met so far have been amazing! And it's been nice to hang out with people who aren't going to be shocked by something that I say, and take things like consent and rape culture seriously. I'm definitely learning more from them then they are from me at the moment. I'm astounded by this community's ability to support each other. I read on FetLife earlier this week of a woman who shared her story about being violently raped by someone she met in the community. When I commented on her post over 400 people had already reached out to her.... and ALL of the comments were supportive of her. It was beautiful and still makes me tear up a bit. She had an awful experience with reporting her assault and was blamed for the attack because of her kink lifestyle. I know that this happens in Utah as well.... so I am really excited to be focusing attention on this community to help address gaps in services.
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My first presentation on Consent is going to be in September. I'm preemptively nervous.... but I will get to be extra mean during the pen skit which I use to demonstrate coercion... so I have that to look forward to.
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