Well, I am home. There is a lot to say and I am not sure where to start or even to bother trying to explain all the reasons why I left early. Regardless of my reasons, Bradley is refusing to listen to them. He is taking it extremely personally, which annoys me on many many levels. But the end result is that I have no regrets about leaving. In fact leaving everyone on the dig was the hardest and bravest thing that I have ever done---yes, even braver than the cockroaches and going to a movie by myself.
I am not going to write very much at all today---the Bismil special traveled back with me to the states and I have been running to the bathroom every few minutes. Hopefully tomorrow everything will be better. But I just wanted to let everyone know that I made it back home--with all of my luggage ;)
6 comments:
Delal, would you share your reasons for leaving this place... Bismil, please?
your post grabbed me.
Leaving Bismil had nothing to do with the people of that town, and everything to do with relations deteriorating between the dig director and I. Seven years later the two of us are on speaking terms, but it took alot of time. He took me for granted and treated me awfully. I felt trapped at the dig house and that he was singling me out. When I would confront him he would state over and over that he thought that we were friends....so I would feel bad and let the treatment continue. Our relationship should have been professional, but the lines of professionalism were often blurred. At the time I wasn't strong enough to fix the situation so that all could have ended well, the only way I could feel ok, was to leave completely.
When I look back, it feels like a different life.
I will never regret any of my time in Turkey...in fact I feel like I've been away from home for a long long time.
i think, i can relate to your experience. in fact, a little too well... having felt trapped at the dig house, singled out, not knowing where the lines of professionalism and friendship cross.
did your dig house have a "bone room"?? LOL
aaaahhh, the thing with leaving... yeah, leaving can be cathartic, but WHEN to leave is the key.
Delal,
long time... what do you mean by "the lines of professionalism were often blurred"?
Just that there was a situation where the roles of student and teacher should have been clearly defined, and they weren't. In fact there were times when I as the student would come to my teacher with a complaint, and the response would be that "I thought that we were friends." And even in those cases friends wouldn't have acted that way anyway.
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