This morning Mr.3 was rubbing his hand on my back when he noticed that I had some weird bump on my back.....after a little investigation we discovered that there wasn't some strange growth coming out of my back but that we were feeling my spine. Being able to finally feel my ribs was a strange-enough trip with this whole weight-loss thing, but now being able to feel the individual vertabrae in my back...wow! This leads me to the title of this post (and I am not referring to the band Spinal Tap-although I listened to them for the first time yesterday-one of these days I will get around to seeing "This is Spinal Tap"...) way back when I had my spinal tap procedure the doctor attempted to do it in the office (which is fairly common now) however after stabbing me with the needle she decided that since she couldn't actually feel the individual vertabrae in my back that performing the spinal tap with an x-ray might be of some use. I agreed because honestly someone poking things into my spinal column without really knowing where they are going is a little worrying.... I guess that now she wouldn't have that problem anymore. Mind you, I am not going to go and volunteer myself for a spinal tap anytime soon...the aftermath of the first one was bad enough- a migraine so bad that killing myself did seem like a pretty good option.
I haven't been sleeping well the past few weeks. After last night I am considering going to the store and getting some over-the-counter sleeping pill. I'll sleep soundly for a few hours, then I will wake, toss and turn for a few hours (but still too tired to get up and do something else) and then I will fall asleep for an hour or two before I get up and have nightmares until it is time to go to work. This week is the last week at Outreach for the summer, and the Arabic class at BYU starts on Monday (I have sooooo much review to do)....if only we could get the issues with our bank fixed I think that everything will be ok. Until then, I think that my only option is to continue to self-distrust slowly.