I talked to Mr.3 for 8 minutes before I went to my class. Not much was said except reiterations of what was typed about earlier.
I cried. Of course.
And in the few moments that I had I told him a little about the anger that I am housing. I am sure that it didn't help him, but it helped me. He said that he would call me again between 8 and 9...which as of 10:30 this evening hasn't happened. So in many ways nothing has changed and I sadly have proven my prediction abilities correct.
Mr.3 is due to be released around 6 or 7 in the evening tomorrow. I hope that it is closer to 6 than 7, because I want to see a speaker at one of the local colleges who will be speaking on PTSD. I tried to find his book in the library ...before I heard about the lecture actually.... but the one I wanted to read was not there. So if I am lucky they might have copies of his books there...and if not at least I will get to hear what he has to say. His books have taken Homer's Iliad and the Odyssey and applied the basic themes to today's veterans. It sounded pretty cool, but the library only had the one focused on Vietnam vets and that demographic doesn't have the same specific issues as the newest vets...which is what I am more interested in.
In my class this evening, it dawned on me that I prefer to hang out with the two military guys in the class than anybody else. I was talking with Jared and we got on the subject of not sleeping and how when he was deployed in Iraq his sleeping schedule was all messed up....then we started talking about sleeping medications and the need soldiers have for them. It struck me as strange after we both started to talk about being startle sleepers...I never thought that I would be able to have a conversation like that with a military person before. It is amazing how Mr.3 has changed my worldview. And while I am frustrated and angry alot with the current situation....I am grateful that I have been given the honor of being able to see this world, even with all of its craziness.
My question is, can you handle all of my moods? I am not sure if I can, and they seem to rule me.
I hope that Mr.3 can come home tomorrow. It would be nice to have him around again....although the transition will be difficult. I still would like to have him back.