The difficulties of being separated

One of the primary problems with the current situation with Mr.3 is that I cannot contact him. Sure I can leave messages on the cell phone or by email...or I could try to leave a message for him at a hospital...that will not confirm or deny his existence....in any case, getting ahold of him is troublesome.

This evening his mother contacted me with some bad news. Mr.3's grandmother has passed away. Also I find out that his Uncle passed away a month ago! I can't tell if I should be upset at this at all. Granted I don't contact his mother that often, but I call her more than she calls me... still...she could have let me know.

When she called and asked if he was still in the hospital I knew that something was terribly wrong. And I wept for these two individuals who I have not met....which apparently touched his mom as she called me "such a caring girl". These two relatives were very close to my husband, especially his grandmother. Now, I have the unhappy duty of trying to reach my husband to tell him the news. I have left messages for him...and while I doubt that he will read this before contacting me...I sure hope that he doesn't. I would like to tell him face to face....but failing that....I need to at least tell him over the phone.

The odd thing in all of this was that I really wanted him to meet my grandfather, and Mr.3 wasn't able to. I know that Mr.3 wanted me to meet his grandmother, and I -obviously- will not be able to. Kind of an odd karmic thing isn't it?

I now get to figure out funeral flowers. My mom and I were looking through things online and we kept debating whether it was more important to have a set of flowers that looked really good at the funeral or a great-looking set of flowers that also get taken home by the family. When it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter. We (Mr.3 and I) cannot be there for the funeral....so we should make a good showing with the flowers. Even if they released Mr.3 tomorrow morning..he cannot fly because he doesn't have ID, so that would mean that I would have to fit a 3 day drive into two. In theory I could drive 15 hours a day...but it would suck, and I would be dead tired. And do I want the first meeting between me and his family to be under these circumstances? Also....when I do send the flowers I have the added problem of which name do I include on the card? His first name or the one he goes by now? I am hoping that he will check his email early in the morning and call me first thing...then I can get it sent out. If he doesn't, I will have to make an executive decision on the name thing....and I am not sure if I should send something to his Aunt or not...or something to his mother....or to his other Aunt. Oh! So many questions.