Last night I was telling my brother that I had to go to bed early because I didn't sleep well the night before. He asked why, and I told him it had been because I was crying. Then the conversation went to the normal "why were you crying, you can always talk to me about stuff" line that ensues when I tell anyone anything. I told him that I don't really talk to him because he has been hurt by Mr.3 and that he can't really look beyond that.
He then told me whatever Mr.3 had done to him was nothing compared to what he did to me....and then he spent the next fifteen minutes talking about how he really wasn't that upset anymore and blah, blah, blah. He is still upset, if he wasn't he still wouldn't be trying to prove that he wasn't. And if anything, this part of the conversation still confirmed my statements from earlier saying that I really can't talk to friends and family about stuff because it doesn't become about how I am hurt but about how they are hurt.
So a little later in the evening I had read something that I wanted to tell Jimmy about. Not for him, but for me....I needed to tell someone that I had been validated in some way. I'm currently reading "the sociopath next door" in order to find some answers. If Mr.3 is a sociopath, he plays games with everyone. ( I sorta wish I knew that now and I would have been able to react better....but that is hindsight anyway. ) In the book it said that most sociopaths choose their victims for the challenge. They regularly choose people who have a strong moral consciences, people who are really strong....because the challenge to break those people down is greatest. They also mentioned that the challenge is strongest because sociopaths envy those attributes in other people as they do not possess them themselves.
I tell Jimmy this. His response was that "Oh, so he stole my identity because he is envious of me?" And I said possibly, but that what was more important was that it really meant that I am not an easy mark. We didn't invite this upon us, I didn't invite this upon me....we were a challenge. He didn't seem to hear me though and just kept talking away about how Mr.3 must have been envious of him.... it was like I wasn't even in the room.
Proving my point from yesterday exactly.