It seems as though every Thursday is a plague lately. It all started out innocently enough, it begin with the Thursday of my period week would be my most emotional day. Last Thursday, the failed day off when I attempted to do paperwork but emotionally collapsed instead. And now, today was bad too.... (not to mention the lack of good tv which equals no new CSI). Three Thursdays in a row, this has got to be a sign.
I had a friend who abolished the month of February for two years, she just referred to it as the 'month after January'. I wonder if I start calling it "the day after Wednesday" or "Friday Eve" if that will lessen the emotional stress of this day.
What happened you ask? The Employee Assistance Program happened. So I few weeks ago I waited for three weeks to get an appointment (as you have to see these lovely certified social workers before you can get a referral to talk to a real shrink). I spilled the whole story, was asked what made me happy, and told that I was really strong. Whoopadedoo. I was supposed to see the 'counselor' (the woman with the hamster name- Fritzie) every two weeks, but her schedule is so full you can only see her every three weeks....if you are lucky.
So apparently I was supposed to see her today but a work meeting came up and I couldn't make my appointment, so I called to reschedule. On Thursdays she has an open 'crisis hour' appointment at four. The receptionist told me that she should be able to switch my 1pm appointment with the 4pm but that she would have to double-check with Fritzie and call me back first thing this morning to confirm. Fritzie only comes into the office on Thursdays and Fridays.
She didn't call....(because that would have been convenient wouldn't it?) So I called her when I got back from my meeting at 1:50pm. After being on perma-hold I was told that Fritzie would call me at 4pm. Call me. I wasn't even allowed to see her.
My one goal for this meeting was to insist that I needed to see someone every week. While I have been so strong in the past, it is because I have repressed alot of emotions and I really need to deal with them to move on in my life. Three weeks ago, Fritzie opened up my can of worms and I have been hemorrhaging ever since. Therapy is supposed to be about having a safe place to work out your issues....what the EAP does is open up your wounds and leave you exposed to the elements. So, at 4:01pm she calls, and for the next 5 minutes and 36 seconds I talk with her. This is what I find:
1. She took no notes of my previous session. She classified it as 'marital problems'.
2. Said that she couldn't give me a referral without a diagnosis (which social workers can't do). She asked if I was eating. Yes. She asked if I was sleeping well. No. She asked if I felt depressed. Yes.
3. She is processing the paperwork to have another random office person who I have never met to give me a referral to someone else for my 'depression'. Because apparently when you drown out all that I am saying that is what is wrong......and nevermind that I specially asked not to be treated for depression.... but hey, I'm not the social worker.
4. Oh, she is really sorry that our sessions aren't working out for me.
Final conclusions: The employee assistance program does more harm than good. My two experiences with them have left me worse off than when I went in. Nice people aren't qualified to help those in need....and even then, they don't really care that much anyway.
Most importantly......the EAP has now WASTED six weeks of my life. That is six weeks where I could have been getting help......now six weeks of me becoming progressively more unstable and absentminded.
And these things seem to happen only on Thursdays. No more!