Yesterday Shirin Ebadi was speaking at the University. Although I didn't find the venue the best (the Union ballroom) it was an interesting lecture. Unlike other lecturers that I have seen, she simply stated what she wanted to say rather than developing some complex and convoluted semantic loop. In any case, at the lecture, Libby and I sat ourselves down by two of the MEC grad students we (or rather I) am friends with. Now, one of them-Hilary- I wouldn't classify myself as "friends" with but 'friendly with'---I hope that that distinction makes sense.
Hilary asked me how Mr.3 was doing as she hadn't seen him in a long time. I was sure that she already knew what had happened in one sense or the other. (The MEC is its own Mecca for gossip as it were.) So, as she asked I simply told her that Mr.3 was never going to come back...and then I gave her the quick reader's digest version. One word can describe her reaction:
Eager eager, over eager, eager beaver.....and any other combination or phrase to deal with that word... that was her reaction. I must say that it was kinda funny to watch her face as she was trying to reconcile her feelings between being extremely happy that she could openly bash Mr.3 in front of me (there was a mutual hatred between them) and trying to remember that she had to be human, nice, and sympathetic towards me. Well the Mr.3 bashing won out on that struggle and she proceeded to tell me that she had caught him in several lies from within the first couple of weeks of knowing him....and that so-and-so had been told this by Mr.3 and that was a lie as well.....and that she knew that there was something up with him the whole time.......and on and on and on.....
Oh she reveled in the self-righteousness. I hope it made her feel better....because while I know better than anyone about Mr.3's habitual and pervasive lying....I also know that he was a hell of a lot more intelligent than Hilary could ever hope to be.
Because deep down.... she didn't/doesn't care that Mr.3 hurt people that she knows. She only cares that he turned out bad so that she could make herself better than him in one thing- morally.
I'm not hurt by her actions....amused yes, but not hurt. Although I think that now she wants to have lunch with me or something "so that we can talk". Which translates into: she wants an opportunity to sit and trash Mr.3 without guilt. Not interested. I don't even trash him in psychotherapy....why would I do it over lunch with a practical stranger?