Jimmy and I decided that in order to my life more interesting that I needed to write about it in a soap opera dramatic format...so here is my first attempt.
Soap Opera Life
The scene is a dark alleyway. Garbage and general filth litters the area. A stereotypical homeless man shuffles by and takes a swing out of a bottle in a brown bag. A strikingly beautiful young woman enters the alleyway, sneers repulsively at the homeless man, and ties to tiptoe down the dirty alleyway. She is clutching her designer handbag close to her as she walks up to a man dressed in black with a black ballcap on backwards.
Man: Well, well well....look at what we have here. The big fancy lady makes her way down to the inner city... and she is looking fine!
Woman: Quiet! You know why I'm here. Do you have it?
Man: I got what you want baby...do you got the money?
Woman: Yes of course I do! (she is looking around nervously)
Man: How much you need?
Woman: 20 ounces.
Man: Damn baby, that is some habit you got!
Woman: Never mind my habit, here is the money, give me the stuff!
Man: Here. (he puts a baggie into her hand)
Voice of a Man off camera: Ashley, Ashley is that you?
Woman: (looks over her shoulder quickly, shocked) John? What are you doing here?
The camera closes in on her face, shocked, terrified, and ashamed to be seen. Music swells, cut to commercial.
After dropping off paperwork down at the courthouse I decided to treat myself to a milkshake. I am not sure when this milkshake rewarding thing started, but as I don't emotionally eat the odd rewarding milkshake isn't too bad. Anyway, I drive down to the local McDonald's and order the largest chocolate milkshake on the menu. As I was walking out of the building I saw my reflection and was painfully struck that I was just another fat person coming out from McDonald's.
However.....I am enjoying my tasty 20 ounces of chocolaty shame. :)