Well at least I applied for something, right?

The whither to work or not debate continues in my head. Tentatively I have plans to quit on September 30th, unless something different happens.
I applied for a job that I was perfect for at the local children's museum. The posting was online Tuesday, worked on the resume all day Wednesday and happily sent it off yesterday (Thursday). I felt on top of the world about doing the resume, looking forward to an interview, a possible new job. I felt new energy at work in order to get major projects finished before I leave. I even speculated on how much money I would make.... Yeah, I know, I really built my hopes too high on it.

So this morning, I'm still excited and impatient just to get acknowledgment of my application. And on a whim, I check the organization website....and the posting is no longer there.

I'm totally crushed.

I went from feeling like the world is full of opportunities to feeling utterly trapped.

And I know, it is stupid. It was stupid to pin my hopes on some phantom job. It is stupid just to think that since the posting isn't up any longer that my resume will not be considered. And it is stupid to feel trapped when I am not. Trust me, my forehead keeps getting flatter for each time I smack myself. But I still feel that way. I mean, I haven't felt this depressed in a while.

And the last thing that I want right now is to be at work.
I want to be away somewhere where I don't have to think about this stuff anymore and that everything is taken care of for me.