Wednesday, June 30, 2010

When the Dr Says to Take Stool Softeners, Take the Damn Softeners

I am just going to warn you up front, this might be a "Too Much Information" post for many people....but for those that talk to me everyday, you already know WWAAAYYY too well that I have no issues at all discussing my bowel movements, or lack of them.

After the surgery I was prescribed stool softeners because apparently the gross amount of narcotics that I have been taking have a tendency to constipate you. I took it the first day home, had a bowel movement and figured that since the thought of taking "stool softeners" made me feel like an octogenarian, I quit taking them.

I was oh, so very very wrong.

So I've become "constipated". Last night I tried a couple of times and only was able to produce small pellets. And it isn't that I don't need to go.....oh I do! It's all backing is just....well....stuck. Literally.
Went back for day two at work and had Indian food for lunch. Predictably had to use the bathroom after and was in there for a half hour, because things were stuck---half-in, half-out. My boss even came into the bathroom to check on me thinking that I had fallen/collapsed/or something. From there I went home, and for the next hour and a half was in various bouts of agony as my system really really really wanted to go...and I was completely unable too.

I even went to the grocery store to purchase an...ahem...enema kit. Unlike the guy I teased about buying it a couple of weeks ago, I made no attempt at trying to mask my purchase. Got home, discovered that I am unable to get into the "preferred application postures" because of my stitches. When I finally was able to attempt something similar to the preferred application, my system wasn't able to take even a quarter of the liquid. There followed another agonizing half hour with little progress.

Got online and started researching other solutions, went back to the grocery store and purchased suppositories....yes, you read that right. When I got home however my system decided it was going to try again regardless of my exhaustion. Progress was made, but I think that what happened felt very close to what child birth must be like. And of course, it got stuck....and I had to (warning- highly gross!) had to take toilet paper and well.....pull. I wasn't able to get it all out, and I haven't tried the suppositories yet because I am so exhausted I can hardly stand...or sit. I am hoping to be back to normal soon, but I seriously fear the pain that might be ahead of me in this process.

So folks...the lesson for today is, when the doctor says to take the stool softeners, take the damn stool softeners!!

And yes, I have been taking the stool softeners religiously for the past few days.

In other news, I have new health insurance, and I am not sure how it will cope with the medical bills that are coming. I know that I have a $500 deductible that I will be paying soon....but I have my fingers crossed that the rest of the $27,000 gallbladder fun will be covered.

And my Mom left for Arizona today. She's been nursing me for two weeks now, and while I am glad that no one else had to witness today's "labor pains" I miss her terribly and have broken down into tears several times. Thanks Mom!!!

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