Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Today has been an enlightening day to say the least. I heard from Mr.3. He is safe, which is good. However there is so much to this story....and I need to resolve alot of things. This will be a long road.

My husband suffers from PTSD, apparently when he came to Utah, he was running from something and was trying to start a new life that ran away from him.

Mr.3, or Mike...is not my husband's real name. It is Scott. He is not an orphan, but has a very loving family that has been searching for him for two years now.

Not everything he has said has been a lie...in fact just about everything he has said is true. His mother and father he told me was his Aunt and Uncle, but the histories are the same. His personality is still the same...his wants, his hopes, his loves....there are all still the same. Just a new name. I may have lost the name of my husband, but I will stand by the man. It is the man I love, not his name. And if we are meant to be, then we will be able to work this out.

I am not sure when I will see him next. He has some "obligations" to fulfill in the East. There might be a trip to Florida for me in the near future to meet the new extended family that I have gained today. His mother is a wonderful woman, and it is a shame that I had to meet her under these circumstances.

I went to a therapy appointment today, my first ever...and I really didn't like the lady. She wanted to boil the situation down to Mr.3 lied and get rid of him. Which is outrageous. PTSD is not a case of "simple lying", PTSD is a sickness. If someone who should have been taking medication for 2 plus years and hasn't...you don't just abandon him. You get him help. You also don't really control who you end up falling in love with...and I love him. And there is something to say for loving the way I feel when I am with him....how we can be in the same room not speaking and feel completely content and happy. Giving all of that up because he has a problem, doesn't help him, or me. I have gotten the impression from his mom, that many people have just left him when he has a problem. How can someone ever expect to get better if they are constantly abandoned? How can a person learn to find their self-worth if they don't have someone there to love and support them?

I choose to stand by my husband. I choose to give him a second chance.

Through this whole ordeal I have been told that often unhelpful phrase "Everything happens for a reason." Maybe this is happening not to help me out. Maybe this is happening to prove to Scott that he can depend on someone, and that it can be ok. That he can find love and support and learn to be happy with himself and his life.


Anonymous said...

i am happy to see that you havent lost him and the pessimist mood has gone away. i hope -and i am sure you can find a way to sort things out.

hiwa said...

I couldnt follow the story very well, but I am glad you are feeling better!

Its the way you see life that makes it enjoyable not the way IT is!